bittersweet [ disguised toast x oc ]

9: old love

"ashley? ashley, im sorry i got drunk again. look i didn't mean it okay." anya's drunken voice was heard from the bed.

who the fuck is ashley? toast thought, bringing headache medication to anya.

"ashley?.." anya's voice turned croaky, almost like she was holding back tears.

"hey hey, i'm not ashley." toast laughed, brushing anya's hair out of her face.

anya had tears in her eyes ; a frown etched on her face.

toast's smile turned into worry,

"are you okay? what's going on?" toast asked again, fixated on hers.

the moment grows awkward.

he attempts to walk away, before being pulled back by anya.

"stay, could you?" anya said, a small sad smile forming on her face.

"sure" toast replied, although confused ; he complied.

toast sat on the floor, his back lying on the side of the bed and his legs crossed.

with a few more indiscernible murmurs, anya started rambling again.

"ashley.. i think i found someone new." she laughs awkwardly, "but i think - im not over you?", "i don't get it."

toast's heart pounded as he listened to the drunken thoughts of anya, feeling guilty that he was sitting there listening - but for some reason, he couldn't leave.

"i hope he doesn't fall in love with me too, i don't deserve him" she stated, "he helps me, he helps me a lot."

"i think i like you - but i still love her too."

ah the words of love and like huh, the differences that they show.

toast smiled, sighing.

he didn't think that anya still had someone in her mind.

that pain in his gut only got heavier.

mutually liked but one loves more, then what is there to have?

mutually liked but one loves the past, leaving and moving on was the only option.

toast put his head in his hands as he realised that he could never have anya.

he laughs, it was just like something you had but you couldn't reach.

"i'll wait for you," he whispered.

but did he think that the wait would work ? - no. but what else could toast think instead.

but there was no reply, anya was already fast asleep. with no realisation of everything that she had said.

there was a fragile unearthly prettiness that came out of them ; like a piece of translucent glass touched by light, given a momentary radiance not actual not lasting.

"i'd better get going" toast muttered under his breath, a sad smile on his face.

toast poured warm water in a glass cup, leaving it and a sachet of hangover medicine on the bedside table.

he picked up the blanket that had fallen over the bed, putting it over anya making sure it wouldn't be too cold for her.

he picked up the remote control for the air conditioner, adjusting the temperature to be just right - not too cold nor hot.

lastly, he searched for a paper and pen writing down the note that he would leave on the bedside table.

hello. you got pretty drunk last night, i got you home and have some water and medicine prepared. let me know when you wake up and ill call you breakfast. take tommorow as a rest day okay? i also told tina just incase. lets go have kbbq again, maybe with a little less drinking >< - toast :)

he lifted the pen off the paper, leaving the note under the glass so it wouldn't fly away.
a warm but sad smile was on his face, it wasn't anya's fault that he felt this way. he wasn't even sure of his own feelings as well.

with that thought, he left the house - closing the door behind him.