"I Will Always" » Zarry* ⚠ ✅

🅰️ Trigger

WARNING: This chapter may be triggering. Proceed with caution.

*****

Zayn plucks more tissue from the box.

"I miss him, Doctor Hammons. I miss him so much. Every day."

"Zayn." He says softly.

"Huh?"

"When you... mentioned the bad things that Harry did to you. The abuse, emotionally, mentally and physically, do you feel anything at all?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... does any part of you understand that it was wrong for Harry to do those things to you?"

He thinks for a moment.

"I knew he couldn't help it."

"Did you ever feel it was wrong though?"

He wipes his nose. "I loved him. And I know he cared for me no matter what."

"Even when you know he came to kill you that night?"

"It was just his way, you know."

Doctor Hammons knows he'll never get the answer in this session, the same way he never got the answer of who tried to kill him in his last session the last time he saw him.

"Okay. Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure."

"You had mentioned that you once told Harry he couldn't truly love you. Do you think that was still true when he died?"

Zayn looks down in his lap.

"I don't know. I think he loved me in his own way. I know he really wanted to. I could tell he wanted to. But whatever it was that happened to him as a child got in the way." He starts to cry again. "He never wanted to lose me. It literally scared him, the thought of not having me. Because I was all he had and my father... he took me away from him. Just like Harry told me he would."

"I see, well... I'm glad that you came to see me. I am. This is a good thing. I have a feeling you'll need my help. I feel that it may be appropriate to schedule you for more appointments. I'm thinking two days a week. What do you say to that?"

He shakes his head. "No. I'm not coming back. I came here today because I just needed to talk to someone and get everything off my chest since I have no one."

He hums. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

"I have no one else. My father killed my husband. He's a murderer. My mother is still with him. And my only friend was Louis and he betrayed me. And not only that, he's still living with the man who accused Harry of all these things. Liam Payne. They're in love now. Can you believe it? He divorced his wife and he just dove head first into this relationship with Louis. Even his daughters stay with them off and on. It's sickening."

"So what do you do then?"

"Nothing. I just sit at home and do nothing. I haven't been back to my business since Harry died. I just can't. I stay at home, I... sleep and I... think about him. It's a good thing he left me millions, I guess. I never have to leave the house for much."

He feels so sorry him, his heart breaks for him.

"Do you talk to your parents at all?"

"I do. But only because they drop by unannounced. It's like they think I'll forgive them or something. But I won't. I owe them nothing. I know that now. The only person I owe is Harry."

"What do you feel you owe him?"

"Everything. I owe him everything. Because he was right. I did promise him to always be by his side, to go wherever he went. To always come back to him. But I nearly broke that promise when didn't find a way home and just let my father kill him. But I realized a few days ago it's not too late to keep it. I can still be with him."