Savage Beast-A Peaky Blinders retelling of Helen Keller

21.

The family was gathered inside of Arrow House, watching through the windowpanes as Tommy rode up the path on his horse, a cigarette in his mouth as he rode bareback. His shiny boots caught the sunlight, sending gleaming beams reflecting off of them. He looked like an angel, but the family knew better-he was a devil. A devil in mourning, at that-and he had been filled with quiet rage at the loss of his wife, becoming more reserved, cold, and focused on business even more so than before. 

The children barely saw Tommy-they ate meals at the table with the staff and played outdoors or in their rooms. He would come to visit Charlie, and feed the horses and make sure Lily was alright, and then off he would go again. In the meantime, Lily learned and studied with Lizzie, who had begun to teach braille. Lily was learning to read in braille, and she had been learning to write in braille using a raised board to practice. 

Lily sulked in her room, toying with a mini carousel that went round and round on the floor. As soon as the sun had shone on her and granted her an angel, she had been taken, it seemed. Shadows danced on the walls from the gas lamp, left lit from last night. Today Tommy was taking meetings, for business and such, with the family. On any other day, Lily would have bounded downstairs to throw her arms around her aunt, but not today. She was still grieving a loss she didn't think she would ever get over. 

She knew that downstairs, Tommy would be all whiskey and cigarettes in his office. He had no need for her to come down and display dramatic affections over her aunt-Tommy was all business-more than ever before. So, she stayed upstairs, letting the nursemaids fret over her as she played with her toys, and bent over her writing. She decided to write a letter to Grace. She had the most trouble with her letter r's. 

It became apparent that Tommy was headed off to Wales and had taken baby Charlie and Johnny Dogs with him. Lily became aware of this when Aunt Pol joined her upstairs, signing into her palm that Tommy was gone, but would be back soon. To Lily it didn't make much difference-even when Tommy was home these days, it felt like he wasn't ever really there.  

A gentle pat on the head, or a warm readjusting of the children's scarves to make sure they kept warm, and then outside with the horses or into his study to work he went. The maids would report back to him on the rare instance he was up in the home, not in his study and during the day. If Lily wasn't eating her meals, he would know. If Charlie didn't sleep well last night, he would know. But that didn't mean he knew how to fix it. Childrens problems were for the women to deal with-Tommy's brain worked in numbers, letters, statistics and all the ways a businessmen's brain should.  

He didn't expect to lose his love so soon in life, and the loss of her was hard for him due to his own attachments to the woman, and for the fact that she was teacher to Lily, and mother to Charlie. His children were without the woman they called mother and teacher. Something so special to all three of them-gone. 

Tommy was a busy man while he was away-visiting an older gypsy woman who took the cursed sapphire from him and killing the man who was responsible for getting Grace killed. Lily was asleep when Tommy arrived back to the Arrow House, bringing Charlie into his room and settling him into his crib. Tommy breezed down the hall, pausing outside the child's room, blue eyes taking in the sight of Lily stretched out, hair splayed out over her shoulders like a shining waterfall of curls. Her chest rose and fell as she breathed; her body outlined in the glow of moonlight. 

Tommy realized he was holding his hand in a tight fist, and he loosened it, stepping over the threshold on the floor, entering Lily's room. He stroked her cheek with his thumb. Her skin was pale like porcelain in the moonlight, and her lashes looked especially long up close. She had an upturned little snubbed nose, and Tommy realized he wasn't often this close the girl that he could see her features in such detail-like the couple of freckles sprinkled on her nose. Lily flinched, her palm jerking slightly in her sleep, as if she were waking up. 

Tommy froze as she stirred, her eyes flicking open. She threw her hands out, grabbing at the cuffs of his suit sleeves and pulling him closer. She pried his palm open eagerly. She spelled l-o-v-e into his palm. 

She was trying to tell him she loved him and was there for him. She was still learning what it meant to love, what the concept was and how to show you care for someone. Somehow, Tommy understood what she was trying to get across, and he patted her hand carefully, coming to a stand. He wanted to leave before he got some strong emotions. He wasn't used to feeling them so strong, and he surely didn't want to look weak in front of a family member-or anyone, for that matter. 

Lily grunted before he could leave, and he saw the worry and despair on her little angular face. Tears glistened in her eyes. This was a loss she felt deeply, too, he reminded himself. Her teacher, her companion-gone to the shadows of a cruel death by bullet. Lily slid off the edge of her bed, pulling his arm and finding his palm, spelling -s-o-r-r-y into it. It was true-she felt sorry for Tommy, sorry for Charlie, sorry for herself and most of all for Grace who was gone. Tommy clenched his jaw, not wanting pity from his kid sister. But her heart was in the right place-an innocent, sweet place. Tommy could take this outpouring of sorrow and emotion no longer, and he brushed a kiss to the child's cheek, and left the room swiftly. Lily sank onto her bed, sleep coming for her in the form of soft sheets and pillows. She hoped she would dream of Grace tonight.