The Day When You Lie

CHAPTER 36

ZEPHANIAH'S POV

"Condolences Zeph."

I'm just staring at the coffin of my Mom and my Dad. Hindi parin ako makapaniwala na wala na sila, wala na ang dalawang taong minamahal ko higit pa sa buhay ko. I can't eat properly, I can't talk to anyone. Nakaupo lang ako sa tabi nila hindi kumikibo.

Zibeon survives, and I am thankful for that. But he is critical right now, maraming sugat, at walang malay. Sobrang bilib ako sakanya kase siya yung hindi sumuko, sobrang lakas n'ya. Minsan iniisip ko, siguro kung pinigilan ko si Mommy sana hindi ito mangyayari, sana walang umiiyak, sana walang sakit.

Kusa namang tumulo ang luha ko, hindi ko kayang pigilan. Ganito nalang ako kapag naiisip ko iyon, sobrang kong pinagsisihan. Naramdaman ko naman na tumabi sa'kin si Isaiah at yinakap ako sa gilid.

"Andito lang ako Zeph." Kahit s'ya naiiyak sa lagay ko ngayon. Sobrang thankful ako kase andyan sya para damayan ako. James, Kezra also came to see me and condolence me. Gian, Edzon, and Jane came also. They bought flowers for my Mom and Dad.

Si Isaiah naman ang nagaasikaso ng mga bisita na dumadating, nahihiya na nga ako sakanya lalo na buntis s'ya ngayon. Mang Hinar and his wife also helped us. Sobrang nasaktan sila sa pagkawala ng ni Mommy't Daddy. Hinayaan ko lang silang gawin ang gusto nila, wala akong gana makipagusap sa ibang tao ngayon.

I saw Sander walking next to me. He gave me a small smile then hugged me tight. I can't help but to cry on his chest. He caressed my hair and had nothing to say, he just let me cry to lessen the pain I feel.

"Maybe God has a purpose why Tito Zeron and Tita Zephanie take from us," Paninimula n'ya.

I didn't respond.

"Be strong Zeph, Zibeon is needed you right now. Don't give up. We're here for you." Dahil sa sinabi n'ya napaiyak naman ako. Why do I always talk to someone my tears are falling?

Sobrang sakit na ng mata ko kakaiiyak. One time, nagkulong ako sa kwarto ko at ni isa sakanila ay hindi ko pinapasok. Kailangan kong mapagisa at makapagisip. Hinahatidan nila ako ng pagkain pero wala akong gana. I just cried and cried until no one came out.

I'm so fucking tired.

But I don't give up. Zibeon is waiting for me, and he need me. Siguro kung magmumukmok lang ako walang parin magbabago, ganon pa din. I saw a picture frame on my side table, it was our family picture. I took it and touched the face on my Mom and Dad.

"Why did you all leave me?" I cried. "Is it really easy to leave me?"

"Wala ng magtutulong sa'kin sa pagluto, walang ng maggo'goodmorning' at 'goodnight' sakin, wala ng magsasabi ng 'Prinsesa ko'. Mom, Dad please...please come back." I begged even if they wouldn't hear me. "Please."

Nakahiga ako habang yakap ng picture frame hanggang hindi ko namalayan ay nakaidlip ako sa pagod.

"Anak stop that!" Mom is laughing while I'm tickeling her.

"Para kayong bata," We stopped when Dad entered their room with Zibeon in sleepy eyes . Yes, Mom and Dad room. Para wala akong balak bumalik sa kwarto ko. Pinahiga naman ni Daddy si Zib kaya umayos kami ni Mommy. Nasa gitna kami ni Zib habang si Mommy ang katabi ko at si Daddy naman katabi si Zib. I was about to close my eyes when Mom talked.