Your My Delicate Flower | DaithiDeWildcat

~Chapter 22 I Can't Remember

David POV

Wildcat agreed to stay with me that night. We slept together in my room, like nothing happened. I've grown used to sleeping by his side and I currently don't want to give that up. It's nice being cuddled up into his warmth, sometimes, it just makes me feel protected. I haven't felt that way in awhile, then again, I can't remember my life before BBS. It all seems to just slowly slip away from me.

I don't know, why I can't remember, why can't I just remember. I'm lost and sometimes I feel scared and I don't even know why. What am I even scared of, sometimes I feel like people are watching me. It's some type of paranoia I developed over the years. But I don't know why, why am I so paranoid of being watched. I tell myself, no one is there but then why does my body feel terrorized.

Why do I tremble as if I know the first thing about being scared. Sometimes, I feel like my body is in pain, agonizing pain. But no one is hurting me, it's an invisible pain. I remember going to the hospital for such pain but they found nothing. Practically saying it was all in my head, that my body is making me feel pain. Because I'm imagining it, no, my body is remembering the pain it use to be in.

But why do I feel pain, I just don't get it, why won't it just stop.

~Flashback

I covered my mouth in shock using my right hand. My eyes were wide as I stared at his lifeless body. His head dripped like a bloody waterfall, flowing down his face. The gun slipped out of my hands and I couldn't help but stare at his corpse. I fell to my knees, I didn't know how long I was sitting there. Staring at it until I was snapped out of it when Wildcat violently shook me.

~End Of Flashback

Why does that feeling...feel so familiar to me. Murdering someone and watching them bleed as the life leaves their body forever. Why do I feel like I've done this before, why do I feel like my life is repeating itself. Please stop it, just make it stop, I don't...I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember, please make it stop, go away. Why does my own memory haunt me so much.

It hurts, please I don't want to remember, don't show me this horror film.

~Flashback

I was walking, I don't know where I came from. Where was I going, I just kept walking, I was in so much pain. Where am I, am I lost, why can't I remember who I am. My name...my name is David, don't forget it. My name is David, don't forget your name. I don't want to forget who I am, I don't want to lose myself.

Please help me, help me, anyone please help me. I was walking, where was I going again, I can't remember. Why can't I remember, what was my name again. I think it started with a D, please, don't forget. Don't forget your name, don't forget who you are. I looked at my wrist, a hospital tag, why would I have a tag.

David Nagle, my name is David Nagle, don't forget it. It has my name, I promise you, I won't forget my name. Who was I promising that too, do I know them. Or am I just promising myself, why can't I remember. I'm lost, am I, am I really lost, where...where is my family. Do I have a family, I can't remember, who am I.

I glanced back at the hospital tag, oh right, my name is David Nagle. I won't forget, I promised not to forget, why am I promising this. I can't remember, where am I going again, am I lost. A gun shot, I heard a gun shot, for once. I think, I felt awake, I felt like I finally snapped out of my trance. I looked around, I'm in a very open area.

I looked down at my clothes, wearing casual clothing. Where did I get these, I don't remember having them. I thought I was at a hospital, I thought I was wearing a hospital gown. Then why am I here, why do I have a tag, where am I from. I just can't remember, why won't you let me remember. Did I not, want to remember...to remember, who I am.