Pay Attention, Mr. Iero (Frerard)

21 - Of Course, I Forgive You

Professor Way, (aka Gerard, I know),

I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am about the whole party situation. I know I was drunk, but that's certainly not a good enough excuse for cheating on you with your own brother. I want to make it up to you somehow. I don't know what I'm going to do quite yet, but I will find something.

You don't have to forgive me for what I did. I wouldn't if I were you anyway. Maybe I was being too ambitious when I fell for you in the first place. Hell, how many teachers have gone out with their students who are actually of age? But there was you, who went against the school's rules to be with me. But I knew since the beginning it was a risk, and maybe a little weird, but I couldn't help it. I can't explain it, but ever since I first laid eyes on you, I knew I had to have you. Something just seemed to click. I didn't view you like everyone else. You were different in my eyes.

I love you, Gerard Way. I want to be with you. And I may just be a clueless, overdramatic college student, who probably won't even pass your stupid art class (no offense), but I've never felt this way about anyone else before. I hope you still have feelings towards me too. 

- Frank

I was extremely anxious about going to class. I had sent Gerard the "apology" letter the day before and I had still received no reply. I wasn't even sure he'd even seen it. Maybe he read it and just deleted it. Didn't want anything to do with it. Maybe he was never going to accept any sort of apology from me, let alone a damn email version of one. 

When I finally made it to art class, my heart was thumping against my chest so badly I swore I was going to die. There was a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach and I couldn't focus on anything else but the door where Gerard would soon be walking into the art classroom.

I opened up my notebook and began scribbling randomly to try and distract myself. Other students filed in the room and took their seats, happily chatting with each other before our professor arrived.

But only a few minutes went by before I heard the familiar tapping of Gerard's black leather shoes rounding the corner and entering the classroom. I looked up shyly, trying to avoid eye contact, but realized he wasn't even looking anywhere close to my direction. In fact, instead of our usual routine of locking eyes and smiling lovingly at one another, he simply walked to his desk, set his things down and gathered the class's attention before stepping up to the board to begin the lesson for the day.

"Alright class, today we are going to be learning about how to draw perspective," he announced gazing around the classroom everywhere but towards my seat. I lowered my head down, stabbing my pencil into my notebook. I already knew I was going to be too upset to focus on whatever the hell he was teaching us.

As Prof. Way continued on with the lesson, I shot another look at the door. Maybe it was best if I just skipped today. I mean, I could hardly look at the guy without tearing up, so how was I going to listen to him teach an entire lesson across the room from me? I didn't even know if I'd ever be able to kiss him or hug him or cuddle him again... what if he never wanted to speak with me again? Wanted nothing to do with my existence ever again?

Suddenly, I couldn't handle being in that classroom any longer. I felt like I was gonna have a breakdown. I slammed close my notebook and grabbed my book bag before abruptly standing up out of my seat and leaving the room. The class went dead silent and I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I left. Maybe even Gerard's now too...

I beelined it to the nearest bathroom, throwing my backpack into the corner of the room and slamming my fists down onto the sink. I was the only one in there as far as I could tell. Slowly, I slumped down against the dirty tile wall alongside my backpack and onto the floor. I sat there with my knees to my chest, staring at the drain on the floor trying to clear up all the negative thoughts flooding into my brain.