Secrets, Struggles, & Soulmates - Scarian

Chapter 14

{Grian's POV}

I woke up feeling absolutely determined. Love can make you do some crazy things. So as I was getting dressed and brushing my teeth I went over the key points of what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach him without looking too intimidating. Intimidating? Okay now that was a little too much, there's no way I could ever look intimidating. I just don't want to scare Scar away or sound rude. With that in mind I stepped out of my house. One step after another the shops soon came into view and I took a deep breath, for Scar. He might also be in the shopping district so I had to walk through it.

The closer I got, the less this seemed like a good idea. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do this. I aways envisioned that I would be doing this with Scar by my side, walking me through every single step. Now that I think about it, it feels like such an unrealistic idea. Why would he ever agree to do that for me? Even through all my doubts I kept placing one foot in front of the other and getting closer. I stopped when I was close enough to see everyone running around doing their own thing. I knew that if they looked my way they would most likely be able to see me but I was in too deep anyways to just back up now. I was here. I was doing this. All I had to do was walk on that path keeping an eye out for Scar.

It was an easy task. Everyone knew what had happened already so would they even ask me about it? If they did, was that even a problem? I'm over it. What happened happened and now it's all in the past and there's nothing I can do to change it. There was nothing I could do to change it. There was no way I could've known. There was no way I could've helped. It's not my fault. It was never my fault. Nothing I did influenced anyone's actions. I wasn't the problem. I was never the problem.

It's not like it wouldn't have happened if I had never met Mumbo. It's not like it wouldn't have happened if I'd never told him how I felt. It's not like it wouldn't have happened if I'd never told Iskall how I felt about him. It's not like it wouldn't have happened if I'd never vented to them about any of my feelings. It is like that. It's my fault. I did this. This beautiful village has suffered a grave tragedy because I joined it. I'm the problem. I'm the reason why. I shouldn't be here. It's better for everyone if I just stay in my house. I'm cursed, everyone I love gets hurt and it's always because of me. I can't come out of my house, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve freedom.

If I come back I'll just make everything worse, I'll ruin their lives once more. I was too deep in thought to notice anything. It's only when I heard a voice that I became aware of my surroundings. My vision was extremely blurry, my eyes were filled with tears, my sweater was starting to stick to me a little bit from said tears, and there was a voice. There was someone and they were talking to me but I couldn't hear them. I was overwhelmed and I couldn't focus on their voice. It was as if I was underwater and they were trying to talk to me. I knew they were speaking but I couldn't comprehend a word they were saying.

My breathing was fine yet I couldn't speak or move. I tried to move my feet but I felt like a heavy stone statue. I was stuck to the ground and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to lift my head but it wouldn't budge. Not even my fingers could move. I tried to get words out of my mouth but my vocal chords refused to let out any sound. I then suddenly felt a hand softly place itself on my shoulder. In that moment everything seemed to shift and I felt somewhat lighter. I tried again and this time it worked. I lifted my head to meet of the voice. The tears made it hard to work out who it was but I could see blond hair, red, and black.

I looked at the blurry figure while it spoke to me. I still couldn't quite make out what they were saying, but it was becoming clearer and clearer. What was also becoming clearer and clearer was that they weren't Scar. I wiped my eyes and that gave me the second of decent vision to figure out who it was, Tango. He was still talking to me and I started to be able to decipher what he was saying. "Grian" Was the only word I could understand from the distorted voice.