WILD CHILD • Emmett Cullen

Munchkin Land

"It's for you." Emmett says handing me his phone.

"What Calvin?"

"Who the fuck are Donna, Susan and Katy?" He asks all snappy. "And why the fuck are they at my front door?"

"Oh that fucking bitch." I groan and sit up to get dressed. Guess I'm gonna do a walk of shame right now. "I'll be there in five and wheres Andy?"

"Somewhere with Bree." Lucky bastard escapes the pits of hell again.

"Alright bye." I hang up and sigh. "Time to go kill some monsters." Emmett laughs as I stand to get dressed. "You laugh now."

"Worse than Renee?"

"No one is worse than her."

"Wait do me a favor."

"I'm not bending over."

"Haha. I wasn't gonna ask you that. But I mean if you want to." He smiles at me. "No but seriously open that door for a second." I sigh and turn to open the closet.

"Holy trust fund." I mutter and start going through the closet. "This is all new." I say looking over the tags. I should probably shower but I also shouldn't leave the Cullens with the real uglies of Arizona. Fuck it imma shower.

"Well I figured you'd still want clothes at Charlie's and this way you have even more options." 

"This is a discussion for after I shower." I say turning and feeling something drip down my leg. Thats gross, but kinda hot. Ew I'm gross. "Yea shower first."

"Care for company?"

"No." I turn and walk into the giant bathroom and close the door. I don't have time for him to distract me. Everything is really beautiful, I probably could've explored more last night but I was busy, exploring Emmett.

-

"Cel!" And ladies and hoes that would be Katy. She gets up from where she was very awkwardly sitting with Esme to hug me.

"Hey kiddo." Her mother, Donna or the evil bitch from Wizard of Oz, glares at me. "You've grown."

"That's what happens when you don't visit for a year."

"Yea yea. Maybe next year. Donna it's so nice too see you."

"Yes it's been too long." Never long enough.

"Although if you're here who's trapped under the house in munchkin land?" Katy snorts. "I'm just joking Donna don't frown, you'll get even more wrinkles."

"I see you still have your humor."

"Fortunately." I will murder her for funsies. Also do I hear Susan upstairs being herself? Yes. Does Donna know that? No. "I thought the gingerbread witch was with you?"

"Susan is upstairs with your mom being supportive during this very difficult time."

"Ah she's setting up the Botox appointment then. Or sharing her recipes for how to cook up random children help keep her youth?"

"You can stand to be less sarcastic."

"Yes but then the world as we know it would crumble  I mean hell the old bat ruling over England would finally croak."

"You shouldn't joke about other people's deaths, it's bad taste."

"Not as bad as you're taste in clothes. Women can wear pants now just in case you didn't know, or you know show ankles." I smile at her, she opened her mouth but god I hate her voice. "No one cares about being a proper lady."

"Clearly." She turns her nose up, ewww I can see bats, and fossils. "I mean honestly Celeste Renee didn't raise you like this."

"Renee didn't raise me at all." I snapped and then shot a glare at Jasper, he shrugged. "Can you just sit down and shut up until you have to leave?" Donna opens her mouth but I'm already Turing away with Katy still under my arm.