amori's peace

chap.14

Amori Rianna Carter | Am-or-ree

"Now what is going on here?" Jay's headass spoke up side eyeing us.

"It's a piggyback Jay" I sighed dropping my head back on his shoulder.

"Hmm? But from what I can remember y'all weren't talking" he smartly shot back moving his fingers around tryna seem smart.

"Now we are" Henderson replied dropping me on the sofa next to Niyah, him sitting next to me resting his arm behind me.

"So my challenge worked?!" Niyah screeched next to me all excited and shit.

"Kinda but we talked it out, cause he said sum shit like you lied to me when I told him that the girl sucking his dick is okay" Niyah flipped her braids to the side sitting up.

"Well is it?" She innocently smiled tryna get some tea outta me.

"Girl you know fucking better that shit ain't okay the fuck?" It now being my turn to flip the one curl on my shoulder that came out my bun, "but I'll give you some tea" and she sat up clapping.

I peeped over at Henderson to see him talking with his friends about basketball.

Looking back at Niyah I turned over to face her "so yesterday or early this morning the nigga pulled up outside my house as I was getting out the nigga locked the door on me like I'm a fucking lil kid" I rolled my eyes remembering the stunt he pulled on me.

"But anyways I then told him I ain't wanna talk cause it's nearing 3AM and the bitch is tired, so then he told me he ain't letting me out until we speak" I continued laying my head on her lap.

She started to play with my hair so I continued whispering this part so they don't hear cause when they ready they can be too fucking nosy "then, he said that the bitch sucked his dick, and obviously I ain't know what to do with the wack ass information so I told him it's good".

Gasping she covered her mouth "now why the fuck you say that shit? That's probably why he think y'all cool".

Agreeing with her I sat up resting my hand on her thigh, "the funniest thing is we not I'm too petty and too fucking stubborn to let some shit like that slide".

Swiping her hand against her neck "period cause we not built like that for real".

"Honestly, so Ion know what I'm abouta do cause I told him we cool but we not so I'll cross that bridge when we get there" nodding her head she hummed in response.

We sat in silence for a while until I decided to tell her about my busy week "girl guess fucking what" I started.

"What girl?!" She screamed next to me causing the guys to stop talking and face us "mind yours" she waved them off and then turned back wearily continuing their conversation.

Henderson kept eye contact with me for longer but I quickly cut my eye at him just to like build some tension.. "but erm I'm going to see my pops on Thursday" and her eyes widen.

"Yea" I sighed.

"Girl are you going to be okay going by yourself? I can go with you if you want?" She waffled on.

Stopping her "no girl I should do this by self it's my first time seeing him since you kn-" my voice cracked when I didn't even want it to.

Fuck me, look at me drawing attention to myself.

Niyah didn't even say anything but cradle me in her arms but she lucky she tall and shit because that woulda been uncomfortable.

I silently sobbed in her arms which is something I've come to hate.. crying around people brings too much attention and eyes making me panic and feel like I'm abouta explode because I'm tryna calm myself down also while the anxiety and panic is building up.

I tried to keep myself from breathing heavy cause that's when all my panic attacks and shit start I would've ran out the room but Henderson would come after me and we can't have that.

So I choose to silently cry in her arms, because we've been so quiet for a while the guys finally realised something was up.

Nobody really knew about my panic attacks only Niyah and my counsellor of course.. Niyah only found out because I had went missing a few days after my mom's funeral but I had stayed at her grave because some things you just can't accept and let go.

Niyah had caught me crying whilst I tried to hide myself from crying I also caught my self panicking because I couldn't stop fucking crying so that's when I had first experienced my panic attacks and Niyah being their for my first one.

I felt Niyah trying to shoo away the guys but I know some of them left cause I heard the door close but I smelt his cologne so I knew the nigga stayed, and because I was technically alone I just broke down about everything.

About my mom's death, about my daddy being in jail, about Bri and how I been treating her- nah fuck that bitch.

Moving on I continued to cry about how I blamed my daddy for my mom's death, even though it wasn't his fault because he can't act upon people's actions.

But he coulda changed the path he was leading down, he coulda decided to come off the streets when he met my mom's and we woulda been a happy family but he's too stubborn to listen to what my mom's was tryna tell him and now look.

She's gone, because his dumbass didn't want to fucking listen and now I'm left here alone with no mom and no daddy because he went after the dumb fucks didn't wear no gloves no sheisty mask no nothing.

He wanted them to know that he killed them, he wanted the cops to know and he wanted me to know, he made it known to whoever watches the fucking news he wanted to go to jail and now he in there till he rots and dies.

I keep making scenarios in my head to help me fix these puzzles but I still feel incomplete.

"Amori? It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay" Niyah comforted cradling me in her arms rocking us softly side to side sniffing she tightly hugged her body around mine.

Niyah whispered comforting things in my ear until she felt like I was calm but in this life there is no hope for me, not for people like me that has to suffer day in and day out with all different kind of dramas that attract themselves to me.

I sat there and cried my heart out I felt someone trying to get me to stand up, I stood up trying to walk off the emotions that I was feeling just to calm down, just to feel like I have hope; a will to live and survive.

But as well as that I am draining myself out right now my head is spinning and I feel so fucking dizzy, lowkey feel like I wanna sleep but I tried to stay awake I really fucking did.

And sometimes you gotta learn to let go, and I fell.

"Amori? Amori?!" I felt someone shake my body my brain still felt like I was here in the room but my body felt otherwise.

"Amori wake up right fucking now stop playing with me" she whispered some tears dropping onto my bare arm.

"CALL THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!!" She screamed and I finally dropped asleep.
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- edited