amori's peace

chap.26

Amori Rianna Carter | Am-or-ree

After I got to Aiden's house I had put my stuff down in his spare room and sat there thinking about how differently things could've went if I didn't act with my feelings but just sucked it all up and spoke to him.

Yet, when I had lied to him it was fine so I just can't seem to understand whether the girl is lying to me and to herself or if Von is lying to me and he clearly showed me that he doesn't care whether I want to believe him or not.

So in my reality I thought I was doing the right thing by not wanting to admit the fact that I could have feelings for him but because of everything going on he isn't the first thing on my mind cause the lil nigga ain't a priority for me.

At first I wanted to believe it was an attraction type thing but after spending time with him getting to know him he made me vulnerable but I felt wanted- no I felt needed and because of not being able to experience this feeling more often.

I grew attached to him and of course no one else knew that, hell.. I didn't even know that myself.
Sometimes when I feel myself getting too attached to someone I start to distance myself because it's better of me not wanting to be around them instead of them disowning me.

It's selfish I know.

And so I kept my feelings hidden because I didn't want to get hurt and feel used up afterwards, as with all my other relationships all the niggas wanted me was for my body and all my friends were telling me so but my dumbass didn't listen because I was in love.

Luckily enough for me I saved myself some fucking trauma because the day I decided to have sex with him I backed out because I was scared and I wanted my friends to support me in any decision that I made.

And then the lil nigga cussed me out and told me how he only wanted me for my body and what not, and I could've been a good fuck for him.. and mostly importantly I was a bet.

I was betted on by him and friends, and bitch it was only ten fucking dollars, I'm most definitely not worth no ten dollars so I'm happy the nigga stayed broke with his dumbass.

But at the same time his feelings could've been hurt because it seems like every girl just drops at his feet, so it was either his ego was bruised or I was really and truly a fucking bet to him.

I went home that night, crying my heart out to my mom and she promised me she'll never tell my dad, but I knew better, I knew was going to tell him..

and she did.

And I knew she told him because then the next day the nigga went fucking missing, and his body still hasn't been found till this day and it's been two years, so they gave up on the case.