The Purple Eyed Girl

45. Hope

With claws on one side, fangs on the other and purple eyes in the middle, the tension in the room cut like a knife. This was the first time the three of us were in the same room again since the celebration after the conquest, since my father was murdered. They were at his funeral this morning, but we hadn't come in close proximity to each other once.

Standing in front of the window with my back to the men, I stared out of it into the gardens, thinking about the choice. Before I was even going to think about which kingdom to destroy, I was going to find out what the conclusion to the case was. Since I had zero faith in Mr. Scaevitas, I was determined to solve it myself.

Luckily for me, he had handed over my father's casefile right before I went into this meeting, stating he understood why the murderers didn't destroy it, since it was too incomprehensible because of my father's random scribbling. It was useless, so he thought I would like to have it as a reminder of my father. I gave it to Mr. Anders so he could place it on my desk, I had kings to talk to.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Buttercup. I wanted to drop by, but Mr. Anders told me you didn't want any visitors." Valerio finally broke the silence.

"Yeah. People always say that they're sorry, don't they?" I said blankly, turning my head slightly into his direction. "Even though it doesn't do shit."

"It might not solve anything, but it's a reminder people care about you." He stepped closer to me, but stopped after two steps when he noticed I glared at him through the reflection of the window.

"Do they? Truly?" I scoffed, suddenly turning around, causing their eyes to widen. "I think people only say it to convince themselves they did something to help, while in fact they didn't do a single fuck."

Valerio narrowed his eyes for a quick second and the slightest bit of hurt flashed through them. Haimon opened his mouth to say something but before he could, I cut him off.

"Don't tell me this agony is just temporary and that it'll get better. Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't build character. It just hurts." I spat out almost venomously, glaring at the men.

"Are you hurting?" Haimon wondered as he leaned against a cabinet.

"Why the fuck would you ask that?" I snapped, resisting the urge to drown him in his own blood.

Valerio crossed his arms and my eyes moved to him. "Don't take this the wrong way, Buttercup, but it looks like you kinda blocked it out which is the last thing you should be doing. It'll only hurt more once you let it back in."

"Oh please." I rolled my eyes and sardonic laughter left my mouth. "Don't lecture me on blocking things out, Valerio. Besides, who said anything about letting it back in?"

"It's not your fault, you know, that he died." He spoke softly as he moved a tiny bit closer, ignoring my scowl.

I crossed my arms and stepped closer to him, the distance between us only being a couple of inches. "I was his literal bodyguard and it only happened because I was forced to participate in that conquest. It is one hundred percent my fault someone could kill him. But don't worry, I'll slay a thousand kings to get my revenge if I have to. Now back off before you become one of them."

He took a step backwards, but refused to give up. "Even though you can't see it. You're wrong about it being your fault. There's still hope for you, Iola. You can't convince me the girl I met months ago isn't still in there, the girl who spared us at the conquest."

"Hope?" I chuckled, walking to the middle of the room again. "Hope is pointless, a meaningless word uttered in a pathetic attempt to deny ones reality. The only thing hope is going to get you, is disappointment."