Infatuation

7. Commitments

Tshisi

I am feeling all kinds of things this morning but most importantly I am so confused. I can't stop thinking about Enzo, I don't want to stop thinking about him. I can't even wait for Ndivhuwo to pick me up or drive me home, and believe me it's been two days and I have made peace with finding Enzo on my couch and losing all my morals. The guilt is still there but Ndivhuwo is okay with us not talking so, I don't know how that makes me feel, as I said Enzo has occupied all my brain cells.

"I miss you" Enzo says standing behind me

"You were just here last night" I giggle as he kiss my neck

"I don't know...I'm not like this" he stops

I turn and look at him, he is looking at me with a serious face. Me and Enzo hardly ever talk, we just have sex and after he leaves.

"What is your last name?" I ask

"You want to take it?" He asks

I laugh.
"I'm just asking, I don't know anything about you" I say

"You know enough, trust me" he says then kiss me

Omg! that's all I am to him.
"Enzo, what is your last name?" I ask again

"Maganu" he answers then kiss me again, this time taking me in his arms

I pull back from him.
"What is this?" I ask

I am being that girl

"What's what?" He asks confused

The girl that can't take a good shag without catching feelings.

"This, whatever is going on here. You and me?" I am not ready for this yet

His face falls then he looks back at me.

"This is everything you want it to be" he answers

"You need to be more specific with your answers." I answer

He is looking at me but not saying anything

"If it is just sex please tell me now, I don't want to fall in love with you and later find out that it was not mutual." I say

"Why are we talking about this?" Enzo asks

I'm done, I want him gone now.
"Get out of my house right now" I say
He doesn't move, pissing me off even more.

"I mean it Enzo, leave now." I raise my voice

Enzo is just looking at me like he is calculating his next move.

"Tshisi, look at me." He place his hand on my neck.

I'm so angry, I am now crying.

"Are you in love with me?" He asks

I look away trying to hide my feelings.
"I don't know" I answer

"Look at me" he says

I look back at him.

"Don't fall in love with me, trust me you don't want to be a part of this..." he stops then moves away and lean on the kitchen table

"I'm supposed to be meeting Ndivhuwo's mother tomorrow, she hates me and I have been trying to impress her for two years. So that she can approve of me and her son to get married" I exhale then look at Enzo

"I'm not this kind of a girl, who just jumps in bed with a guy she doesn't know. I am the good daughter, the one my dad brags about and my mom compares all my siblings to. I don't know who this is..." I explain