Bloody rose||Yandere Carlos Madrigal x Reader

ANOTHER funny a/n

Some incorrect quotes woohoo! Plus,who likes the new cover? I made it on picrew||

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Y/n: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Carlos: You're like 15 years old

Y/n: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

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Y/n: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Carlos: Stop romanticizing the past.

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Y/n: What is your biggest weakness?

Carlos: I can be uncooperative.

Y/n: Okay, can you give me an example?

Carlos: No.

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Dolores: While I'm gone, Carlos, you're in charge.

Carlos: Yes!!!

Dolores whispering: Y/n, you're secretly in charge.

Y/n:Obviously.

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Dolores:Are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Carlos: I'm a knife.

Y/n, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

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Carlos:They stole from me first!

Y/n:Mhm.

Carlos:Stole my heart...

Dolores: It is still illegal to commit murder.

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Y/n: Carlos and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Dolores: *Sighing* What did Carlos do?

Y/n: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Carlos: Who wants a steering wheel?

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Carlos,at the funeral, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Y/n: How?

Carlos: How what?

Y/n: How could they be worse?

Carlos: They couldn't, I lied.

Y/n:

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Carlos: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Carlos: Absolutely not.

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Carlos: Here's some advice

Y/n: I didn't ask for any

Carlos: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

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Carlos: I told Y/n their ears flush when they lie.

Damien: Why?

Carlos: Look.

Carlos: Hey Y/n! Do you love me?

Y/n, covering their ears: No.

Damien:

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Carlos: How's the prettiest person here~?

Y/n: I don't know, how are they~?

Carlos, flustered: I-

Damien, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

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Carlos: Y/n and I don't use pet names.

Juan: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Carlos: Honey?

Y/n: Yes, dear?

Carlos:

Juan: Don't ever lie to my face again.

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Carlos: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Y/n: You're a hazard to society

Juan: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

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Carlos, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Y/n, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you're staying home and having my kids

Juan: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Carlos: playing systemic oppression

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Carlos: Why are you on the floor?

Y/n: I'm depressed.

Y/n: Also I was stabbed, can you get Camilo, please.

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Carlos: If you had to choose between Y/n and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Camilo: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Y/n: Camilo!

Carlos: 63 cents.

Camilo: I'll take the money.

Y/n: CAMILO!!!

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Carlos: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Y/n: Wasn't Camilo with you?

Camilo: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

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Carlos: We need a distraction.

Y/n: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Camilo, whispering: My time has come

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Carlos: Hah! 69! You know what that means?

Y/n: What?

Mr Laurence: That you're a child.

Camilo: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

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Carlos: Why are your tongues purple?

Mr Laurence: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Oscar: I had a red one.

Carlos: oh

Carlos:

Carlos: OH

Y/n:

Y/n: You drank each other's slushies?