Honestly.

Chapter 17: The Fight

"Hi Mer, you're home early?"

I heard Ingrid say over the phone and swallowed back some tears before answering her back.

"I'm still at Harry's."

"Mer, you okay?"

I wasn't okay. At all. I had been sitting here the past hour playing out so many different scenarios in my head, each ending with Harry leaving me. The scene of them crying over the ultrasound. Her losing the baby. Everything that could bring them together and push me out.

"No."

"Where's H?"

"Olivia."

"I'm sorry, he left you to go with Olivia?"

I took a deep breath and explained how Olivia came here in pain, "It could be an emergency."

I heard Ingrid sigh, because like me, she wasn't a horrible person. Like me, she would never wish anything bad on Olivia, but the whole thing just sucked.

"Maybe this is the universe telling me to quit the movie. To just walk away."

"Mer, I love you, but don't be a fucking idiot."

I snorted softly, "I'm not. It's just, I don't like complicated."

"Miera, you dated Ian Thompson, complicated was basically his middle name."

We both laughed a little, and I sniffled wiping my nose, "But he wasn't this complicated Grid. Harry really tried asking me to be his girlfriend right before he left."

At first my best friend was just silent. I knew she was trying to figure out how to approach this.

"What did you say?"

"No. It didn't feel right, Grid," I tried to swallow back the tears but couldn't hold them back, "I felt like I was something he was just putting a band aid over. A quick fix."

I cried and Ingrid stayed quiet on the line. I don't know how long she let me cry for, before finally speaking.

"I'm sorry, Mer. No one deserves to feel that way, but especially you. You don't deserve that."

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and wiped away my tears.

"We had a really great first date though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah?" I smiled a little.

"Good Mer, I'm happy to hear that."

"Did I go into this too quickly, Grid? Be honest?"

"I think for once in your life, you jumped before looking. I mean you hesitated at first, but I think you did something new. And I like the Miera that came from it, babe. I just don't like this right now. But I can't blame him. And neither can you. It must really suck for him."

"I know," and I did. I did know how much of a burden this was on him. I knew we had to wait two more weeks before he could get the test done. I just worried, what those two weeks would do to us.

I heard the front door open, and I took a deep breath, whispering into my phone, "He's home Grid."

"Go. Talk to him. Breathe. Don't cry. Or do. I love you."

"Love you too."

I hung up the phone and waited five minutes for Harry to come in but he didn't. I got up and made my way down the hall to the living room, when I reached the end I leaned against the wall, looking at Harry on the couch. He was laying down, rubbing the bridge of his nose between two fingers. His eyes closed.

I bit my lip, and cleared my throat so he could hear I was there. He removed his hand from his nose and leaned his head up looking at me. We just stared at each other from across the way, and I saw his eyes gloss over at the same time mine did.

We both just stared at each other as the tears fell from both our eyes, and something inside me knew Olivia won. He called me over with his head and I shook my head no. I just quietly called out, "Imma get my stuff, and imma Uber home."

When he nodded, I closed my eyes and turned around. I quickly gathered my clothes, ordering my Uber as I did.

"Fuck," I said to myself as every Uber driver kept canceling. Finally I just sat on the floor, and gave up on ordering my Uber. I bit my lip, and contemplated what to do next as the bedroom door opened. I looked up and there was Harry. His eyes were bloodshot.

"Why are you leaving, Miera?"

"I just thought you wanted me to leave."

"Why would you think that?"

"The look you gave me. I just thought maybe," I shook my head and bit my lip.

"That I chose Liv?"

I nodded, but I couldn't look at him. I know he didn't mean to hurt me earlier, but he had. I felt like something he kept having to reassure. To fix. To save. I hated feeling that way.

Harry's Perspective

She looked so small sitting on my floor. That ball of energy, of light, I kept putting it out. I swallowed, because I had walked in here completely ready to tell her I needed to be there for Olivia until I had answers. The stress of the situation was putting Liv's pregnancy at risk and I didn't want to add to it.

Now looking at Miera, I couldn't do it, but I had too. I felt as the tears came down my cheeks again. They felt like they burned. I didn't want to be with Olivia, but being with Mer was hurting her. Just like being with Miera, was causing me to hurt, well Miera.

I knelt down in front of her and watched as she turned her face away from me. I don't know how long she had been crying for, but I knew it was longer than my arrival.

"Miera. It's not that I chose her. I just...need to....not add stress to her right now. She could lose the baby."

She nods and turns her phone back on, I see she's attempting to order an Uber again.

"Mer, let me take you home."

"No." She says, her voice scratchy from crying.

I watched the Uber cancels as soon as she gets a driver.

"Mer come on, it's late, let me ju—Harry no!" She yells at me. Our eyes lock, and being this close to her makes me feel worse, because I can really see the pain in her eyes.

"It's fine. We are done. You take care of what you need to with Olivia." She looks down at her phone as Uber notifies her that she finally has a ride. I see relief flash over her face before she looks back at me, "I need you to just leave me alone. Okay? We will go to work tomorrow, and be castmates and that's it. Take care of Olivia. Take care of your baby. I don't need to be taken care of."

I watch as she gets up, walking past me. I get up quickly, and grab her arm in the hallway, "M, please, understand. I want to be with you. I just need to wait. Until I have an answer. I waited for you."

"This is different Harry. I know you know it."

"And what if the baby isn't mine Miera?!" I yelled at her

"And what if it is Harry?"

My eyebrows furrowed at her, the line in between my eyebrows I knew was deep set, "You're being so selfish."

"Says the man who treated me like I was just a wound he could put a bandaid over. Not even three hours ago, you were asking me to be your girlfriend. The easy fix. And what would you have done? At this moment. What would you have done if I said yes?"

I felt my face drop. I opened my mouth to say something, but I knew she was right. I felt as she slipped her arm from my grip and walked away. I wanted to run after her, but my feet were stuck to the floor.

I heard the door slam, and just like that, she was gone.