Serene.

Chap | 009

・────── ・❁ ・──────・

        "Is she coming today?"

        My head turns to Étienne who puts his work apron on. "Can you not tell by looking at me?"

        He laughs. "Calm down, monsieur Hwang. It will go well. You shouldn't be so nervous, I heard having too much stress makes you age faster," he humorously says. 

        I look away from him. "Whatever, get on with your work. I think today will be a busy day."

       
        It is around five in the afternoon when the shop begins to get really busy. I look up at the doors, awaiting her appearance before looking down at the box of croissants I'm preparing for the blonde woman on the other side of the counter. 

        I am about to finish wrapping the box up and the bells ding once more. Feeling that rush of excitement moving in my body, I look up. 

        Light brown hair, and beautiful eyes, the colour of chocolate. A demure smile spreads on her lips as she holds her hand up and waves at me. I cannot look away. 

        I want to call her name, Serene, and smile and wave back to her when the customer at the other end of the counter clears her throat.  

        "Monsieur, I am in quite a hurry," she says, and I look back at her, apologies beginning to spill out of my lips. She tells me it is not a big issue, although she would appreciate it more if we worked faster, as it may become a problem in the future. I nod to her and thank her for coming before asking her to come again. 

        I watch the blonde woman take her box of croissants before I turn back to the heads of the people sitting around the coffee shop. I catch sight of her. I see her. I see Serene, and she sees me. And just as she did earlier, I smile, a shy, demure smile, and I wave to her. I can already feel my face heat up. My ears are probably as red as tomatoes now. 

        I turn to Étienne, but before I can even speak, he smiles at me. "Go for it," he says. "And don't blush so hard or else it would be too obvious!"

        Reaching for the knot of my apron, I undo it and take the apron off. I thank Étienne one last time before I start to make my way to where she is sitting. I would be lying if I said my heart was beating normally. 

        I reach her table, and she greets me. I greet her, too, and I sit on the chair beside me. 

        "How have you been?" she asks me. I say I'm doing really well. I ask how she has been doing, and how her travel was, and I can see her grow more excited. As if she wants to tell me something. As if she cannot wait to tell me something.

        "The two weeks have been fantastic! You won't believe all the new people I saw, all the different places, it was all so beautiful! And I had the best food as well! The only bad part about it was that I couldn't see you, but I'm seeing you now, so..." her voice trails as a familiar song begins to play. A song too familiar to her. A song too familiar to me.

        The jazz band has begun to play Dream A Little Dream Of Me.

        I see a smile beginning to form on her lips. "Did you...did you ask them to play this?" she asks me. I look at the band, and Alice begins to sing the lyrics. 

        I look down and with a smile, I nod. "I...I prepared some other stuff, but you are still talking, so I will show you after you're done," I say, and I feel the anxiety creep up on me again. 

        Calm down, Hyunjin. It will be okay. 

        "Oh? You have prepared things? What is the occasion?" The genuine curiosity in her tone makes me smile. 

        "Uhm, it is no big occasion, if I am being honest, but I just wanted to, well, you will see in a bit." I laugh nervously and she giggles. "You said you have some big news you want to share with me, what is that?" I ask, changing the topic. 

        Her eyes brighten up, and they twinkle, the exact way they do whenever she is talking about anything she loves. 

        "I...well, you see, it all happened so so fast, but I..." she pauses, inhaling sharply. "I have a boyfriend!"

        Silence. I do not know what to say.

        "Oh."

        Perfect. My response is absolutely perfect. I look into her eyes as all the excitement and happiness suddenly fade away from her.

        "O-Oh? You do not seem to be surprised..."

        I try thinking of something to say, something to cover up the actual reason I replied like that. 

        Because now, I cannot tell her I am disappointed. I cannot tell her how that four-word sentence hurt me. I cannot tell her how I feel. Everything that I had prepared, I cannot do it anymore. It was all for no reason. 

        "No, no! I just- I thought you already had a boyfriend." She is not smiling. Her eyes are not shining, but she looks slightly better after hearing what I said. 

        "I did not have a boyfriend. I have not had a boyfriend in about a year, but he...I liked him. I have liked him for a while, and coincidentally we met the first day of the trip, and he just asked me out the next day, and-"

        I feel sick. I feel dizzy. I want to get up and leave. 

        But then again, it was me who had completely ignored the reality of being rejected. It was me who had made up an entirely fantastical world where she would tell me that she liked me back. It was me who had the entire day planned out for the both of us. Me and her. Hyunjin and Serene. 

        It will not be us, however. It will not be Hyunjin and Serene.

        "Hyunjin, you would not understand. He has the most charming face, and the sweetest personality and even my father loves him a lot already. He is perfect. I know that because I have known him for a long time, Hyunjin. I have known him for years, and finally, he sees me, and he tells me he likes me, and this all seems like a fantasy, I cannot even believe it is real, and-"

        This is it. I stand up, too abruptly, cutting her off, and gathering the attention of the people sitting around us. She looks at me and she is confused. She is worried. She does not know what is wrong. 

        "I need to use the restroom. I- I will be back," I say, and as I finally speak, I feel my chest begin to burn. I feel my throat begin to close up. And all of a sudden, it becomes difficult to breathe. I smile at her, but this time it is forced. I force a smile at her for the first time before I walk away.

        I feel her gaze on me as I walk toward the staff's restrooms. I want to look back at her, but I don't. Instead, I enter the restroom and I lock its door behind me.

・───・───・

[A/N]Ouch.

・───・───・

・────── ・❁ ・──────・