Serene.

Chap | 014

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        "It is okay. I am okay."

        Étienne purses his lips as I speak. "You say you are, but you are crying. Hyunjin, speak to me. I am right here." 

        My eyes find his, and I blink. "I- I do not want to trouble you," I say, but he shakes his head. 

        "Speak to me," he takes my hand in his, smiling. "You can share your feelings." 

        And I finally give in. I finally break down. He takes me in his embrace. 

        If I were to think about it, I should be ashamed for crying like this. I should be ashamed for crying like this in front of someone else. I am a man. I am a grown man. I cannot use cry like this over something like love. 

        Love, love, love. 

        Damned love. 

        "It hurts," I speak, and I internally swear at myself. 

        I try to stop being so emotional. This is too embarrassing. But it is Étienne. He is my friend. I can be comfortable with him...can I not?

        "I want to be the one to be with her. I want to be the one holding her like that. I want to be the one beside her, the one who's always on her mind. I want to be the one she loves. Why can it not be that way?" I question, and Étienne's lips stay pursed.  

         Of course. Why am I talking? I will only trouble him, and he will not know what to say. Perhaps I should just go home; get an early leave and spend the rest of the night in my bedroom, writing letter after letter, filling out the notebook I have now labelled hers. I shall do that, but-

         "Love is not always requited," Étienne begins, and I look at him before I can even try to get up to leave. He exhales, and a melancholy smile forms on his lips. "It is like an empty mug that needs to be filled after an order is placed. Sometimes, after it gets filled, we need to balance out the sweetness and the bitterness of the drink we are preparing. The same drink can be extra sweet at times, or it can be bitter. Sometimes it's a perfect mix of the two so that it becomes bittersweet."

          I watch as his gaze falls to the ground. "It may not seem like it to you right now, but Serene might just not be the one, Hyunjin."

          "I love her," I say, but I do not actually know what I am uttering. I am far too deep into my thoughts.

          Étienne nods, and he exhales once more. "You do. And- love will come, and it will go. People come into our lives, and people leave. You will find your person one day, Hyunjin. Everybody falls in love. You genuinely do not know anything about the future. For all we know, Felix and Serene maybe not be made for each other, too. Life is...well, unexpected. It is unexpected in the most beautiful way possible."

          Beautiful...huh.

          I nod. 

          But I am still uncertain. 

          It would take some time, would it not? It would take a long time to move on, Serene... but maybe Étienne is right. Maybe I will find my someone someday. Maybe we will always just be coffee shop friends. 

          Coffee shop friends. 

          Thinking about it now, I am just happy to have gotten to know you.

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[A/N]
I couldn't update on Monday, so here's Monday's chapter! (sorry for the slight delay heh)

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