Opposing Forces

59

Derek was glad he knew exactly where the condo was when Alex sent the directions. On the way over, he knew he needed to disguise himself going into her apartment. Derek was instantly relieved when he realized he kept his Mazda hat in the back seat of his car. He knew that would help with a hoodie he also kept in his back seat. Derek, along with most people who lived on the island, kept a sweatshirt or something of that nature at all times in their car. Nights on the island could get cool year round with the night breeze. He checked the text real quick to make sure he had the condo number right while he was pulling into the parking lot of the condo's Meredith and Alex lived in.

He quickly through the hoodie on and put the ball cap on putting the hood on over that so no one would be able to get a clear picture of who it was. Derek quickly opened his car door the second he thought he was ready and tried to slow down his pace. He wanted to just run to her, making sure she is ok. He really wasn't sure what was going on and that made him uneasy while he walked to the condo number that Alex had given him. He took a deep breath not wanting to overreact and knocked on the door hoping to see her on the other end. He heard the door open and was somewhat disappointed to see Alex standing there but quickly grew anxious. Derek immediately read the look on Alex's face, definitely not one he wanted to see.

"Derek. You are here quicker than I thought." Alex said with a strong sigh at the end.

"I had to come immediately. I haven't even gotten the boat funk off of me. I had to . . ." Derek trailed off desperately needing something about her, why Alex called him frantically over.

"I am glad you did. She is in her room with the bottle." Alex stopped not sure exactly what to say or not to say. Meredith had no idea that Alex had even called Derek and Alex had no idea how she would react.

Derek's heart sank hearing she was with the bottle. He could only assume he meant an alcohol bottle which couldn't mean anything good. "Does she know I was coming?"

Alex looked down at his feet and mumbled, "No." He knew Meredith would not really be happy about this as she liked to be left alone. She never wanted to face her mother and what she did to her. Her pattern was to drink herself almost to death, sleep, wake up the next morning with a massive hangover, and never discuss it again. Alex hoped deep down that Derek was the one that could break the pattern of behavior she followed in when it came to her mother.

"Fuck. What the fuck were you thinking? What in the fuck is going on here?" Derek's jaw was clenched and he talked in a very low growl so that Meredith wouldn't hear, not exactly sure where her room was.

Alex knew he had done the right thing, but it may take one or both of them to realize that. "Her mother was here."

"And? Her mother was the great Ellis Grey. What is the fucking problem?" Derek needed some answers and was not satisfied with the half answers he was getting.

"Look." Alex looked Derek square in the eyes. "There is nothing easy about this and I have dealt with this for the last 7 years. She trusts you and is falling in love with you. She should have already talked to you about this shit, but she won't. There is a lot of shit and she will tell you eventually."

"What kind of shit?" Derek was just short of forcing Alex to give him some answers.

Alex sighed not sure how much to say. He could see the emotion in Derek's eyes wanting something to hold on to. Alex knew he needed to say something before he went to her room. "Her mother was here today. Things were said as they always are. She thinks she can do this alone but she needs something more and I think you are the something more."

Derek realized the enormity of the situation. She had never talked much about her family in their conversations, not that they had opportunities all the time but before leaving a month ago, they spent any chance they could on the phone if they weren't together. "Where is her room?" Derek said softly, stepping into the living room and closing the door behind him.

"Down the hall on the left. Her door is shut and possibly locked." Alex almost said because he had learned not to bother her when this type of thing happened, but decided against that information.

"Thanks for calling." Derek spoke before heading to Meredith's room.

"Derek?" Alex said to get his attention.

Derek stopped and turned around and nodded for him to speak.

"I am not sure how she is going to react to you being here. Just don't push. Be there for her and love her. She has needed you way before now whether she admits it or not." Alex knew he was her best friend and the closest thing to family she had. However, he wasn't enough, not when it came to things like this.

"I want to be that man." Derek acknowledged Alex with a soft smile and took the steps to her room. He had no idea if he should knock or just walk in. He decided on the later in fear she wouldn't let him in. He had no idea what he was really going to find when he walked into her room. He made sure to catch his breath realizing his breathing had grown more rapid. He opened the door to see her sitting on the floor with her knees apart and her back up against the mattress on her bed for support. She had the bottle of tequila in between her legs with one hand on it and the other resting on her knee with her hand cupped around her forehead.

Nothing in the world could have prepared Derek for what he was feeling in this very moment. The woman he was falling in love with, or had fallen in love with already was in her most vulnerable state and was so obviously hurting it physically hurt him to see it.

"Alex, I have told you . . . I am fine. I will be fine. Just leave me alone. Please." Meredith's raspy voice ran throughout the room in a voice that was torn to pieces. She never looked up to see exactly who had entered her room.

Derek had no idea what to do or say. He wanted to just wrap her up, take all her pain away, whatever that pain was. "Meredith." He could barely get out.

Meredith's head shot up quickly. "No, you aren't supposed to be here. No, you can't be here. Why are you fucking here? Leave. I will see you tomorrow."

"I will not leave." Derek said softly but forcefully never taking his eyes from hers letting her know he was going to be there, in any way she needed him to be but he wasn't leaving. He could see the red and puffiness around her eyes. She had definitely been crying.

"Why are you even here?" Meredith asked in a state of confusion but in a much calmer voice after a quick dancing of their eyes.

Derek saw her physically relax her body a little and decided to walk over to her and sit down beside her. He was even more thankful when she seemed to have relaxed just a little more having him beside her. He looked over at her, "You need me here."

"I don't. I am used to this. I can do it on my own. I always do." Meredith looked away from him, picked up the bottle, and took a big gulp. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of the tequila running down her throat. At this point, it was no longer burning, just making the pain go away more and more each big swig.

Derek took his chances and moved to take the bottle from her hand. Meredith looked at him not letting go of the stronghold she had on it. In that moment, something happened. Without speaking a single word, their eyes spoke a thousand. She slowly loosened her grip on the bottle and let Derek take it very slowly never taking their eyes off of each other. Derek took his other hand and tucked her hair behind her ears and used his thumb to dry the few tear drops that had managed to fall during this most vulnerable time for both of them. Derek sat the bottle down on the other side of him and spoke in the most soothing voice, "You don't have to do it on your own anymore."

"It works for me." Meredith quietly muttered out.

"Does it?" Derek continued in the soft, caring voice.

"It is fine. I am fine." Meredith insisted continuing to say this to herself on a consistent basis.

"You are not fine. Nothing about this is fine. I will be here, Meredith. I . . . I love you and I want to be here. I want you to lean on me starting right now. You don't have to talk right now about this, but we will. Right now, I just want to love you, all of you. Let me Meredith. Let me love you like you deserve." Derek said soothingly moving his now free hand to her hands and felt her take hold as if holding on for dear life.

A few more tears ran down Meredith's cheek and he wiped those off as fast as they fell. She had no idea what to say but knew deep down, she wanted nothing more than for him to stay, be with her forever. Could that ever really happen?