Deanna • Duff McKagan

Chapter Thirty-Three: A Great Fucking Birthday

February 25th, 1986

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Deanna, happy birthday to you!" The whistles and hollers cause me to groan as I roll over, looking up at the five band members and Haley standing over my bed.

"Why am I awake when the sun is still out?" I pull the pillow over my face, turning my back to the group. "It's only noon!?" I exclaim, the time on the clock next to my bed reading 12:36pm. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?"

Last month, after the record label told us they wanted to sign Guns N' Roses, they rented an apartment in LA for us. The contracts aren't going to be officially signed until next month, but it's nice that we no longer have to freeload off of Andrea.

"Come on, Deanna!" Haley exclaims, jumping onto the bed I share with Duff. "It's your birthday, you're twenty years old today!"

"Just another year, and just another day," I shut my eyes tightly, making another attempt to go to sleep. But, that attempt is in vain when Steven rips open the curtains, letting in even more sunlight.

"We have plans for the day, so get up," Haley shrugs, bouncing on the bed excitedly.

I sit up, leaning my back against Duff and I's headboard. "Doesn't bouncing like full send you into labor?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at the brunette girl's actions.

Haley rolls her eyes, scoffing at me. "I'm only a few months along, Deanna, it's not going to send me into labor. But, we do have plans. So, you need to get up and get ready."

I notice the rest of the band standing around in silence and I glance up at them, confused. They've been acting weird for quite a few weeks, honestly. "Okay, what the hell is wrong? You guys have been acting weird for weeks. And since it's my birthday, I want my present to be somebody telling me what the hell is going on."

Duff sighs, sinking down next to me on the bed. He brushes his hair out of his face, avoiding any and all eye contact with me. "Look, Deanna..." he starts, looking at the rest of his band mates. "I can't do this, can someone else take over."

"I will," conversations between Izzy and I have been few and far between. I've tried, I've made many attempts, but it just didn't happen. "The record label introduced us to our manager a few weeks back."

I open my mouth, about to respond to him but he places a hand over mine. "Dee, please just let me talk before you say anything. We tried to fight it, the label says either we get a new manager that they assign to us, or we throw our deal out."

I gulp heavily, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. This is exactly what happened with Mötley Crüe, except my dad isn't behind this. The boys are choosing to do this themselves.

"Deanna, we put it to a vote." Izzy scratches the back of head, four pairs of eyes flipping to him. Slash silently tries to get him to shut up, but he doesn't, thankfully. "With three votes against two, the band voted to take the record deal."

I couldn't hold back anymore. The tears start to fall down my cheeks as I look at the band members I love so much through clouded vision. "Who voted to stay loyal to me?"

"I did," Izzy didn't hesitate, taking a small step forward. "I voted to keep you because I don't believe that Guns N Roses can truly be Guns N Roses without you."

I look over to the blonde I sleep next to every night, not even caring that my emotions are so visibly written across my face. "Duff?"

"No," Izzy wastes no time, but I already know the answer. Duff is a terrible liar, I could already tell he wasn't one who voted to keep me. "Duff said the future of the band is more important than you. Slash voted to keep you."

"Are you serious?" I stand up, suddenly feeling sickened at the thought of laying in a bed that Duff sleeps in. "Look at me, Michael fucking McKagan!"

At the mention of his government name, his eyes snap toward me, knowing he is in some deep shit. "Deanna, I'm sorry. It's just - it's for the band."

"For the band?" I scream, taking a few steps back, wanting as much distance from him as I could possibly put in between us. "God, that is absolutely fucking great coming from you."

"What the hell, Izzy?" Duff screams at the black haired rhythm guitarist, his eyes wide. "Why the hell would you tell her all of that?"

"Why the hell wouldn't you tell her all of that?" I yell back at him. "I'm the reason you guys even have the opportunity for this record deal! I have worked my ass off to get you this far, I slept with a creepy ass man to get you gigs! I've done everything I possibly could for the five of you."

"And that's why I didn't believe that we should choose a record deal over you, and Slash agreed." Duff jumps up from the bed at Izzy's words, but Slash steps in between them.

"Nothing Izzy is saying should make you mad, Duff, it's all the truth." Slash sighs, causing Duff to take a step back.

"Popcorn?" My eyes are full of tears waiting to fall, as it feels like every single member of Guns N Roses rips my heart from my chest. Steven shakes his head at the use of his nickname, refusing to make eye contact. "I'm not even gonna lie, Axl, I expected this shit from you."

"That's the funny part," Duff tells Izzy to shut up as he starts to reveal more information, but Izzy doesn't stop. "Axl was the deciding factor. And, it took him two days to come up with an answer. And he only finally responded, with a final answer, when Haley told him he should take the record deal."

Now that, is some news I wasn't expecting. "You knew about this, Haley? You went along with this?"

I push past the six people crowded in my bedroom, making my way out of the door of the apartment. Happy fucking twentieth birthday to me.

A/N: HEYYYYY GUYS. I actually really like this chapter so I hope you guys do as well. Also my birthday is February 25th so that's why I used it for Deanna's.