Deanna • Duff McKagan

Chapter Twenty Three • I'm Not Fucking Confrontational

September 19th, 1985

"Are you just not going to speak to either of them?" Steven asks, tapping his drumsticks on my coffee table. My apartment used to be nice, I had decent furniture. But then I got the bright idea to house five band members in my living room, and, well, things went to shit.

"They'll speak to me when they're ready," I shrug it off, not knowing what to say.

"And what if they're never ready?" Steven brought up a good point, they might never be ready. But that's their problem, not mine.

I swallow hard, trying my best to hide the fact that I miss sleeping next to Duff every night, and I miss late night balcony talks with Izzy. I miss them so much it's crazy, but there's really nothing I can do about it.

"You know, he's right," on very rare occasion do I hear Slash speak, he's not a man of very many words. When he does talk though, it ends up being something really intelligent. "Neither one of them are gonna talk to you first."

"Well," I shrug, running a hand through my hair. "I guess they're just gonna have to deal with it."

Somehow, I'm still their manager, and I'm still busting my ass trying to get them gigs, but they're just incredibly ungrateful for it. If this wasn't my only source of income right now (we split the profits from gigs six ways) I'd say screw it and tell them to find their own gigs.

It's not like Izzy or Duff have any reason to be angry with me. Duff and I aren't dating, and I know he does whatever he damn well pleases. Izzy is only mad because I went after Duff when he stormed off.

"Well, hopefully they get over it before this gig tomorrow," Haley says, sitting on the arm of the couch beside Slash. "There's gonna be like four record producers there. Might get something going."

My eyes widen as I hear Haley's words, the thoughts of opportunity flashing through my mind. "How do you know about this?"

She rolls her eyes, shaking her head. "Dylan told me, called this morning trying to get on my good side because he's been cut off and wants money, so he said he'll exchange information for money. I got the information, then told him to screw off."

"This is why you're my favorite," I chuckle, staring up at the ceiling fan. "Where is the rest of the band, anyway?"

"Izzy hit the streets, Axl's doing whatever Axl does, Duff's out with Mandy something," Steven continues his tapping, barely paying attention to the episode of Gilligan's Island playing on the TV.

"Duff's out with a girl?" I feel my heart get heavy at the thought of that, mentally kicking myself because I know we aren't together.

"For Christ sakes, Deanna, just tell Duff you wanna be with him!" Haley groans, shaking her head.

"I'm not a fucking confrontational person," I respond, reaching over to punch her in the arm. "So like hell am I doing that," I pause for a second, realizing what I just said.

The tapping on the coffee table stops as the drummer looks up at me, eyes wide with realization. "Did you just admit that you want to be with Duff?" He asks, the three of them staring at me.

"No, I didn't," I scoff, standing up from my position on the couch. "And you can't prove that that's what I meant." With that, I walk away from the small group and into the kitchen, just desperate to get away from them.

This is exhausting.

•••

I'd never admit it. Not to Haley, not to Steven, not to Slash, not to anyone. But I lay in my bed at almost three o'clock in the morning, impatiently waiting on Duff's return.

One by one, each of the band mates have returned to the house, surprisingly with no bottle blondes attached to their hips. Steven and Slash didn't go out tonight, just hung out with me and Haley drinking whiskey and playing music.

Izzy returned around eleven pm, walked through the door and straight out onto the balcony. I had to force myself not to follow him out there, knowing I wasn't welcome anymore.

Axl returned next, clearly drunk off his ass and not knowing what exactly was happening. He fell onto the couch as soon as he stumbled through the door, his snoring starting almost immediately after. We made sure he fell asleep face down, although that made Haley worried about what the condition of the couch would be like when he woke up.

And now, I'm waiting on Duff, although I know I won't say another word to him. I just want to know that he's home okay, and that there isn't a girl with him. God help him if he brings another girl into my house....

I hear the front door open and I stand up quickly, somehow getting the urge to go tell him how I feel. "Shhh, Mandy, we don't want to wake up the house..." I hear Duff's familiar whisper, a hole in my chest as I realize that he did indeed bring another girl into my house.

I hear footsteps coming down the hallway and I quickly jump into my bed, fake sleeping while still keeping my ears open to figure out what they're saying. "Oh fuck, she's here," Duff says. "I was hoping she wouldn't be, now we have nowhere to go."

"How about the kitchen counter," I can almost hear the smirk in her voice as it takes every part of me to not sit up from my bed and beat the crap out of her.

"I'll meet you there," I can hear them kiss and a pair of footsteps walking away, but Duff's presence is still in the room.

"I know you're awake, Deanna," he mutters, taking a few steps closer to my bed. "You can't fall asleep on your back, it's impossible for you."

I don't answer, keeping up my facade as the bassist continues to speak. "Could've been You I was with tonight," he sighs, his footsteps fading a bit. "But instead you chose Izzy. Which, is definitely a shame, because I've had a great night, and it's about to get even better." He leaves my room, slamming the door shut behind him.

I'm going to fucking kill him.

A/N: it's currently 1:30 in the morning and I'm supposed to be at work in four and a half hours but instead I'm doing this lmao pray for me bc it's about to be a horrible work day 🤣 enjoy the updateeeee more drama coming soon

Also question, when would y'all like to see Duff and Deanna officially get together? 1986? 87? 88? 2019? Never? Let me knowwww 😂 I have a vague idea but I wanna see what y'all think