Deanna • Duff McKagan

Chapter Thirty-Six: Fuckups

November 23rd, 1986

"Look, all I said was that I'd show up and watch y'all record Shadow of Your Love. That's it. I didn't confirm or deny whether or not I'd take the position again." The band looks at me hopefully from across the recording studio.

"Okay, Deanna, so just watch us record," Izzy says solemnly, picking up his guitar. "But it's not our fault when you decide that you missed bossing us around so much and you agree to become our band manager again."

"You know what, Iz," I scoff, shaking my head at him. "I missed you the least, go record the fucking song." I exit the room, sitting next to music producer Mike Clink on the other side of the glass. Rumbo Records have been patient with the boys, yet somehow I don't see that lasting much longer.

"So," the music producer asks as the boys begin to record. "You gonna take your position as band manager back?"

I shrug, switching my focus to every band member except Duff. I know he publicly professed his love for me, and I know I ended up in Canoga Park watching them record a song, but I have yet to respond to his little attempt to win me back. "I'm thinking about it."

"Come on," he scoffs, shooting me a smile. "You and I both know you're just laying the heat on 'em," I return his smirk, but don't confirm nor deny his statement.

Soon, the song is completely recorded and the boys are filing out of the record studio, waiting for me to say something, to say anything.

"So," I gulp hard, staring at the pattern in the carpet. "I need to set some ground rules before I tell you my decision."

"If there's ground rules, doesn't that mean you agree to be our manager again?" A happy go lucky blonde asks, a look of hope on his face.

"Steven, shut up," I scoff, shaking my head. "Don't make me insult the rest of you, too. I'm two for five, I can easily make that five for five."

"Well, nothing has changed," Axl sends me one of only a few genuine smiles I've ever seen from him. "You're still the most bitter bitch I've ever met."

I ignore the look of anger on Duff's face as I smile back at the lead singer. "Aw, Axl, that means a lot coming from you. Alright, as I was saying before I was quite rudely interrupted. I'll be your manager again, yes, but if this record, what the fuck is it called?"

"Appetite for Destruction," Slash answers, one of the few words I've heard from him all day.

"Yes, Slash, thank you. Appetite for Destruction. I want it completely recorded by the end of December. That means it's gonna be hard work and long hours, all work and no play. You wasted enough time on this, it's time to crack down. We have deadlines."

"Boss lady back in the house," Slash laughs, interrupting me.

"Slash, shut the fuck up and let me speak," I glare, causing laughter to come from Duff and Axl, the only two I haven't insulted. "Alright, I'm three for five, you two wanna say anything? No? Cool. Mixing for Appetite for Destruction absolutely has to start in January, we need to get this done. We have a month, to record this entire album. We're gonna get it done. We got this. What else do we have to get done?"

The band is silent as I skim through the calendar of events Roger Henway gave me, showing every important thing GnR has to get done by the end of the year, and exactly what deadlines their are.

"What the fuck is Uzi Suicide?" I ask, my eyes flickering from the page to the five members of the band.

"That's um, that's our label," hearing Duff speak strikes me in the heart, but I don't let it visibly phase me. Im not going to show he hurt me, he doesn't get that power over me. "It's under Geffen, of course."

"No shit," I say blankly, not bothering to point out that I'm now four for five, and Axl is the only one I haven't insulted or been an absolute cunt to today. "Alright so besides the recordings needing to be finished, you need a four song EP titled 'Live ?!@ Like A Suicide' to be released on December 16th. Is that already recorded and ready to go?"

"I just have to record the intro," Slash mentions. "Just me saying, 'hey fuckers! Suck on Guns N' fucking Roses."

"Okay, is that possibly something we can get done today?" I glance over at Mike and he nods, letting me know that it was possible. "Okay, great. So Slash, before you leave today, record that intro so they can get the 10,000 copies of that EP ready to sell. As for shows, I just see two, which is easily manageable for rehearsal purposes."

"Our last manager didn't make us rehearse," Axl says calmly, but I could tell he's a little annoyed with me.

"Well, I'm not your last manager, War. You're going to rehearse, you're all going to stop fucking around and get this record recorded, these rehearsals completed, this party attended. You're going to do all of it, before all five of you fuckups lose this record deal." Look at that, five for five. I've insulted every single one of them today. "You think it'll be a easy to get a new record deal? Look how complicated it was to get the first one. Now imagine how hard it will be to get another one after you just had one ripped from you because you couldn't take serious shit seriously."

After a few moments of nobody saying a word, I decide to continue since I have no arguments. "On December 21st, you're opening for Cheap Trick at Fenders Ballroom in Long Beach. Cool, should be a good show with a good turnout. I've seen Cheap Trick, they put on a good show with a heavy following. December 23rd, y'all have a release party for that EP at the Cathouse. Love that place, cool. And then you have a headlining show at the Glamour on New Years Eve. New Years Eve should also have a heavy turnout." I pause for a moment, taking a moment to make sure every member is listening. "I haven't formally accepted the position as your manager under Geffen yet," I say, ignoring the disappointed looks on their faces. "But if you can accomplish all of this without any fuckups, I'll do it. I'll be Deanna Caine, Guns N' Roses band manager."

A/N: this chapter is kinda boring but I'm feeling inspired so here you go