lost in my pain || 𝙃𝙐𝙀𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙆𝘼𝙄 ✔ [2]

pay for it

"Kai? KAI? KAI! Wait up!" The Kep1er member tries to catch up with me, but I pretend to not notice and keep walking. Just don't look back, don't look back. I feel a hand on my sleeve and I decide break for it, but her grip is way too strong. She pulls me back and I am turned around. She stares at me with sad eyes. I don't want to see her though, I can't. I am too scared.

"Kai, why...w-hy are you running? Do you not want to see me anymore?"

"I see you all the time," I say pretending I was perfectly fine and there was no incident two weeks ago. My little pink haired sister grabs my arm and stares right up at me with her cute eyes.

"Please, Kai... I want to talk."

"Sorry, I can't," I mumble, "Maybe sometime, but not today. I'm busy." I gently pull her off my arm and speed-walk away from her. Either it's fight or flight. I choose flight.

"N-no! Kai, please, I've missed you so much. I've thought so much and I-"

"He's not ready to talk to you, Bahiyyih," I hear Xioating say softly to my little sister. It hurts my heart a little but I need to protect myself right now. I really want to say something to her but I can't, I just need some alone time. In fact, I should be doing vocal practice right now.

I turn around the corner and I slam into a hard body. I yelp, falling to the ground landing on my wrist. I hiss when I cradle my wrist and that's when I realize who I just slammed into. He stands in front of me, his arms folded across his chest, with a stern glare plastered on his ugly face. Sik-nim.

"M-manager n-nim,"

"Well, what do we have here, Kai? Who were you running from?" He asks me raising an eyebrow. I shudder hoping he doesn't see me shudder. He smirks and grabs my arm, pretending to help me up but only squeezing my arm. I bite the inside of my lip so I won't cry out as he squeezes tighter, making tears spring into my eyes.

"So how are you today?"

"I- I'm fine," I say shakily, getting to my feet. I don't want to be here. My mind slowly shuts down and I feel utterly numb as he leads the way to his office.

"All right, so what about your schedule? Why aren't you at dance?" I look away instantly hoping he won't get angry at me but I know he will.

"M-ma-manager said to do vocals.."

"Why aren't you at vocals?" He asks, shutting the door behind him, leaving me shivering in my hoodie as I take a step backwards- into his desk.

"B-because-"

"Because??" He prods, getting closer to me, making my heart race and my fear rise higher and higher. "So how are you?"

"What?" His voice tone and his expressions totally changed into something kind and warm. I am suddenly confused when he pats the chair behind the desk and tells me to sit in it so I can 'rest'. "Manager nim, I-"

"Oh, Kai, you're so stupid,"

"What?"

"You think I'm stupid? I know you skipped vocals to just spite me," I shake my head furiously, trying to rise out of the chair but he shoves me down with his hand on my shoulder. "So no? You didn't do that on purpose?"

"I saw my sister," I reply, feeling fear swarm around me.

"Your sister's here? Well maybe she can take your punishment..."

"No! No, no no!" I half-shout, this time rising to my feet, fear not in me anymore. No one ever hurt my family, EVER. "You can't hurt her! I won't allow you to!" He smiles, knowing that's the reaction he wanted and I failed it. Or at least, I failed myself. Oh no.. Please I can't handle anymore pain in my life. I swallow the overwhelming saliva in my mouth and take a step to the left, hoping I could grab something that I can hit him with.

"You know what that means right?" I swallow, fear starting to rise again. No, I can't just let this happen again. No, not again. I'm stronger now right? I did have therapy- but you lied through all of it. I tell my knees to stop shaking as he steps closer to me threateningly. I step away, trying to find one of his awards so I can hit him on the head with it. I use my hands to feel for it but he took that chance while my guard was down a little... He grabs my shoulder forcefully squeezing it painfully.

"So you think you're gonna hurt me huh?" I shake my head hoping to not make him angrier then he already is. He backhands me and I keep staring into his eyes, not even caring if i get hurt again. "Gonna be a brave brat today?"

"Just leave me the heck alone, Sik," I glare at him, he opens his mouth in shock when I start to yell at him things I couldn't even understand. I know he's going to get angry and try to shut me up but I keep yelling and screaming hoping someone would hear me. He takes both of my shoulders in his hands and shakes my body, my head snapping back- into an award that is made of stone. Pain shoots through my head and my body and I groan, eyes blurry.

"Oh, great," He mumbles and I feel like I'm losing my consciousness. "Stay awake idiot,"

"You can't hurt me," I slur, as he shoves me to another chair. I stumble and land on the ground, awkwardly on my painful wrist. "You can't ever hurt me. I've learn-"

"Oh just shut up!" He snaps, slapping me on the face. He stares at me, as tears sting my eyes. "Maybe we can have fun since you're so quiet now,"

"N-no," I protest, suddenly aware of my surroundings again. "No, not again," I don't want any pain.. I can't handle any pain anymore. I'd rather die then be here. "I'd rather die,"

He smirks, squats down so we're eye-level, and pats my chest as if he was trying to comfort me. I whimper and try to scoot away from him. I feel something dripping down my neck, I touch the back of my head, and I see blood on my hands. Oh no, no. That's when I smear my blood on his shirt. He gasps in shock, his emotions probably ready to explode. He yanks my hair up and forces me to my feet. I whimper as he pulls my hair so my head is pulled even further back.

"You brat. Bahiyyih is going to really pay for it."