Cicatrice

Chapter XXII

QUEEN ESTELLE BELSHAW

The grand opening of the orphanage had been an enormous success. One of my favourite appearances as Queen was getting to know the little lives of the children who would be living at the place that the kingdom had renovated. Hearing their stories, hopes and dreams, mesmerised and inspired me.

As for the romantic evening with Eddie I had spent, our clandestine meetings had become numerous. We had often spent the nights alone in my room when Malcolm was out late on business.

"I must say, it's been quite the turnout," Malcolm states from behind me, making me jump after I farewell the last guest from the opening. With his arms crossed around his broad chest, he leans in the doorway, a smug look on his face. "Yes, it was all thanks to you," I remark with sarcasm laced in my voice.

Rolling his eyes, he lets out an exasperated sigh. "Estelle, when are you going to realise we are in this together?" he questions with irritation, yet also sympathy in his voice. With that remark, I scoff loudly. "You expect me to believe that after you had no faith that I could run this place? Take a hike, Malcolm," I furrow my eyebrows, turning away as I feel my blood rush with spite.

"Wait!" he interjects, stopping me from leaving.

I come face to face his sorrowful eyes. Why were they sorrowful? They were usually pompous... conceited, full of hate and no sight of love.

"I should not have doubted you, Estelle. Please, can we just make this marriage work? Can we do that? For the kingdom?" he asks, his legs carrying himself closer to me, but I couldn't tell if this were a setup as it was extremely out of the ordinary.

With my eyebrows furrowing, I cross my arms against my chest. "What are you trying to say, Malcolm?" I tease, knowing he couldn't come to apologise for the life of him. With his face growing irritated, satisfaction flowed within me.

"Are you really going to make me say it out loud?" he asks annoyed.

Without letting an utter out of my mouth, I nod.

"I am sorry, Estelle. Please, forgive me," he sighs loudly. Although it wasn't genuine, in the moment, I'm sure he would trick himself into believing it was. Perhaps he tricked me subconsciously.

⁂

Awaiting my clandestine midnight meeting with Eddie, a sudden barging of the door catches me off guard. My heart sinks as I realise its Malcolm, looking exhausted from a long day of socialite duties as he takes off his black coat.

"Malcolm? I assumed you were going to be out late tonight with your father," I stutter in shock, taking the coat from his hands and folding it. I had to act natural- had any bit of suspicion been raised, I knew I was in for a ride.

"Oh, he wasn't feeling too well this evening, bird," he sighs, pushing off his black, shiny loafers. He continues, "You know, he's still really angry about the death of your father- how they still haven't found who killed him," he added.

"Could we please avoid discussing my father?" I sigh, going to lock the window which allowed Eddie to enter my bedroom.

Although it weren't my fault father was dead, I still felt heaviness on my shoulders whenever his name was mentioned or whenever I thought of him. I felt I was to blame.

"Why are you locking the window?" Malcolm questioned, his eyebrows furrowed.

I hated the idea of lying to people. Even the people I despised. But had it gotten out that I was having an affair with my servant, I would be worried of what would come of Eddie. I hesitate to speak. "The guards weren't very effective in keeping my father safe. No amount of caution is ever enough," I whisper, trying to not tear up with a small smile on my lips.

"Of course," he nods, sitting on the bed beside me.

He takes my hands, placing them on top of his lap. He stares deeply into my eyes, hypnotising me. "Este, I just wanted to let you know that you're so strong-"

"Stop," I interject, shutting my eyes. "Don't give me that, Malcolm. Don't pretend to like me," I sneer, taking my hands back into my lap. "You know it'll never work out between us. No matter how hard we try," I state in a hushed tone.

"You have not even given it a chance. You haven't even slept with me. You understand that's the final confirmation for our marriage," he growls, desperation in his voice. "And I have been so patient, Estelle. It has been months now since we were wedded," he continues.

I couldn't help but feel he was right. We were married. We will be spending the rest of our lives with each other. Shouldn't we at least please each other in the process?

Tears start to flow down to my cheeks. "Hey, why are you crying? Look at me," he whispers softly, and for a moment, I feel comfort in his presence. He lifts my chin up with his thumb, and I'm once again met with his eyes.

"Will you please do this? For me?" he enquires. "I'll make it worthwhile, I promise," Before he lets me finish my sentence, he climbs on top of me slowly, breathing down my neck. Tears roll down my cheeks, but I don't stop him as he takes off my blue nightgown, revealing my bare body.

I am taken aback as I catch a glimpse of Eddie trying to unlock the window out of the corner of my eye. When we look at one other, my heart breaks into a billion pieces. I observe his eyes grow glossy as he stares at me in despair.

Malcolm begins to move in and out of me, making me moan. But I felt anything but pleasure.

I felt sick to my stomach.

Malcolm obstructs my view, and when I can look back at the window, Eddie's gone.