Son of the sun

Chapter 44

"Aria Enzo come on we're going to regulus' now" Sirius yelled from the bottom of the stairs for his kids. "You too remus" and husband.

"Going" the three yelled Sirius sighed. Looking around his house he got this sudden urge to cry, no apparent reason he just wanted too.

Looking around seeing Enzo's quidditch broom, Remus box's of chocolate stashed in a living room table and the eye liner aria left on the kitchen counter now that she started exploring makeup and all made him want to cry.

"On second thought I'll met you guys at regulus place" Sirius called out once more quickly before his family heard the change in his voice or before they could race down and see the tears already brining his eyes.

None of the three lupin-blacks had a chance to answer Sirius, he flew out of the house and practically ran to regulus back door which in his favor was unlocked.

"Hey Sirius you're early" regulus began setting the table for Saturday noon brunch. He couldn't even get through his train of though when he witnessed his brother collapse onto the floor in quiet sobs.

"Sirius hey what wrong, are the kids okay is remus okay are you okay" regulus rambled falling to the floor beside his brother. Sirius couldn't speak only shaking his head, regulus had seen Sirius do this before so at the point he knew nothing he nor anyone could say to calm him.

So he didn't say anything, he held his brother. Held him as he drenched his shirt with sobs suffering incoherent sentences.

"Let's go upstairs before remus or the kids see you or do you want me to get Remus and I'll distract the kids" regulus offered attempting to lift his brother to his feet.

"No Remus" he whispered.

"Alright then let's get you upstairs okay" regulus whispered back as he walked his brother up the stairs and into his bedroom. Sirius continued to cry now holding onto one of regulus pillows.

Not a lot of time passed before Sirius got the strength to compose himself and stop crying, his face still blotchy and sniffing as he looked regulus night stand that had the picture of them all on their graduation day along with one of regulus and James alone and one of the summer right before that October night.

"I miss him, I miss my best friend my brother" Sirius whispered regulus knew he was talking about James so he let him go on.

"It's been years and it still doesn't get any easier to think about him, I don't know how you do it. It hurts me like this every once in a while because I loved him he was my brother my other brother and I miss my brother but you, you were in love with him I saw it on your face the day you met him you've always loved james you can't just get over that one day to the next even if he's dead" Sirius went on now bring regulus to tears.

"Sirius what sparked this" regulus asked trying his best to ignore what Sirius had just said because if he didn't he would be the one breaking down. Now a days he can't afford that luxury of breaking down. He has a teenager now to keep an eye on, and one who's very observant at that.

" I just. Look at our lives regulus we made it. I have a family. I have my husband and kids it's everything I wanted but thought I couldn't have, it's everything you wanted and was taken from you" he spoke regulus sat on the bed beside him thanking Merlin remus and the kids where always late.

"Sirius you remember when Lily's sister showed up here, and I had to go through a whole court case just to keep a kid who was mine to begin with, you remember the mess I was"

"Yea but you won no one can take harry from you"

"Exactly. Sometimes when Harry's being particularly hard to deal with and well bratty I have to remind myself of that. How id rather have harry here annoying the fuck out of me being a complete brat than not having him here being annoying. James was taken from everyone too early not just me. But no one can take this from us" Regulus spoke softly then continued

"I still have the life we'd dreamed of having together, the house the kid just no James and most of the time you have to look at the bright side of this and we'll it can hurt but Merlin when you look at it and I mean look at it, it's completely and utterly beautiful. James didn't have the luxury to witnessing this in person but I know where ever he is he's still watching all of us. Especially his brother"

Regulus always wondered what James would say if he witnessed this. If he got to see his family first hand turn into the people they are now.

"Sirius you here yet" the two blacks heard Remus's yell followed by the sound of stomps down the stairs and to the kitchen.

"Compose yourself Sirius your a lupin for Merlin's sake, go and spend time with your family I'll be down now" regulus snapped Sirius smiling at how that sentence sounded to know that he was no longer thought of as Sirius black and not rather as Sirius lupin.

While he walked out regulus look at his reflection in the mirror for a long time. He remembered everything he wanted to, he reminisced on what he and James had for so many years. How he now knew each little mistake and heartbreak james caused him before his death wasnt James nor Lily's fault.

Regardless of those mistakes or heartbreaks it always led regulus back to where his heart always lied, to the person his heart belonged to. James potter. That was something no one would ever take away not in this lifetime or the next