Fall for You | OT4

ninety five

TW for mention of abuse

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luke couldn't move in with his boyfriends immediately. he still had a month left in his contract with his own apartment. though that did not stop him from slowly moving his things in. he waited until last minute to sell his furniture, the moment a little bittersweet. he's lived in this apartment for two years. this apartment was his escape from the abuse. this apartment was his place of healing.

in a month, luke will have a new place of healing.

during the slow moving process, he and kat would get together at his apartment to gather more information and evidence against dayla. the process took so long because it is emotionally and mentally draining. luke is having to relive his moments of abuse all over again. he has to physically look, write, and talk about the torment and damage his abuser caused. the most distraught part of this entire process, is remembering things his brain locked away because the moment was so traumatic.

sharing such vulnerable moments with kat only strengthened their friendship. they cried together as luke slowly told more of the abuse he faced. no parts of the conversation never left the door. while his boyfriends and sierra are aware of the abuse, this is a private moment. this is luke's time of grief for the person he used to be and letting go of his past and present burdens.

luke also started something he feared most; therapy. he knew that if he is going to move in with his boyfriends, he needed therapy. it wasn't much of a argument or decision. this is a new step, a new boundary since he left his abuser. a mantra of 'they are not her' runs through his mind frequently. though he had endured a significant amount of trauma, he cannot help the deeper dark feeling that one day he'll be in danger again.

being able to open up about his past felt... relieving and draining all at once. luke never realized how much he held in until the therapist mentioned it. he doesn't feel that much weight in his head and body anymore. the burden is still there as it always will be, but not as much. his boyfriends, kat, and sierra have all expressed how proud they are.

the one person luke wanted to share his past about with most is his mum. he feels sick for keeping this from her, but she adored dayla. in fact, she was quite heartbroken when they broke up. of course, she rushed to luke's aid since that is her son. no matter how much she adored dayla, luke would always come first.

"we just fell out of love, honestly. we were fighting more than talking." was his excuse as to why they broke up. though it isn't fully a lie, luke still held that guilt for not telling his mum the entire truth. that's his mother for god's sake. but again, he can hear his therapist say "you are not forced to tell anyone, no matter who. this is your trauma, your history. it is up to you when you want to share it, and to who."

luke loves his therapist already. she's 10 years older than luke, has a welcoming smile, and is fully supportive of the lgbtqia+ community. of course luke was going to find a therapist who shared his same beliefs. that isn't the subject of the matter most of the time, but it's still relieving to have a therapist who isn't judgmental of luke's beliefs and personal life.

ashton had also finally convinced luke to join one of his own therapy sessions. "it's like couples therapy, in a way. i think it will help us communicate better, especially since we'll be living together." he said, but sputtered out in apologies. "not that we don't have bad communication or need couples therapy! it's just-" luke had cut him off with a laugh and a kiss to calm ashton. "i know what you mean, don't worry."

the session worked out perfectly. luke got a little taste of ashton's therapy and his past and current struggles. he felt guilty for reacting the ways he did before, but ashton reassured that he had nothing to be sorry about. "just because i was raised like that, does not mean it was or is right for me to react in that anger." luke wanted to kiss ashton in that moment. he refrained from doing so, though. god, the man has come so far in growth already. seeing this growth only made luke more excited to live with him.

calum, ashton, and michael had started the renovation of luke's bedroom. since luke was occupied with work and being with kat, he didn't have the time to renovate himself. they finished unpacking and threw out the boxes and junk that were stuffed in the bedroom.

they painted the walls white to match with the furniture. they bought a baby blue bed set since it was luke's favorite color. they put photos in frames as a 'welcome home' gift. all that was left is decoration, but they decided to leave that part to luke.

michael had bought a large dog bed for petunia, along with some new toys since she destroyed all of hers. the guitarist was more nervous about petunia not liking the place than luke. (of course as soon as she saw the toys when luke brought her over, she refused to leave. literally).

having a dog took some time to get used to. petunia took an immediate liking to calum (duh). she'd wake him up way before he normally does, causing him to curse and groan. he would admit it aloud, but he loves it. having petunia around improved his own mental health significantly. calum looked forward going back home after a tiring day in the studio. petunia would always be sat at the door, ready to greet anyone who walked through that door. (if she knew them, of course).

when the month was finally up, not only was luke ready to move in, he was also ready to turn in his evidence and statement. he actually became physically ill because of the anxiety he feels. one day, hopefully, he will get a call from a detective. it scares luke that his case may not go through. he's known that was an outcome, but now that it's a current reality, it's terrifying.

not only did he turn in his evidence, he grew the courage to tell his mum the truth. he didn't go into detail about the abuse he faced, but it was enough. she was in tears, sobbing out apologies. his dad came home later that day, and so luke told him as well. luke didn't cry once, until his dad hugged him tight. he cried again later that night in michael's arms, just mentally exhausted from all he's endured for the past month.

now it's time to wait. wait for what luke hopes will be his justice. wait for what he hopes will give him the closure he needs. wait to start fully healing.

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only five more chapters :'(

nothing is being rushed, i promise.
i know this process all too well
and it's a long waiting game. luke
will get his closure by the end of
this story, so don't fret.