How Do We Date - Riddle + Floyd

Chapter 4 - part one

Riddles POV

I woke up before my alarm clock went off, it's 5:30 in the morning I read from my bed side clock. I rolled over on my side not wanting to get up, it was hard enough getting to sleep last night so I don't wanna get up quite yet.

I wonder what Floyd will wear.. ah! It doesn't matter!! I threw my face into my pillow. Actually now that I think about it when was the last time I went to see fireworks? It's been a while, i wonder why they're having them, maybe some kind of celebration?

Why am I going again? I thought as I lay down flat staring at my ceiling. Floyd asked me to go but I didn't need to say yes, I became flushed at the thought. Is it too late to back out now?

Yes it was, no one needed to tell me, I accepted, which means now I gotta see it through.

I got up finally, knowing I'm not getting anymore rest, with all these bothersome thoughts. Really though why didn't mom ever tell me about any of this? Having feelings for someone, did she not want me to have them?

Knowing her she was probably already picking someone out for me. Also even if I do umm hypothetically like Floyd, would she even except it. Not just who he is but also the fact that he's a guy. I frowned at the thought.

I continued brushing my teeth. I mean I've been talking to her and I think she's lighting up a little but i don't think this will be alright by her. Will she hit me like last time? I thought back to when I was a kid, just wanting to hangout with Trey and Chenya.

I let out a heavy sigh, I looked at myself in the mirror brushing out my hair. I wonder what I'd look like if it were long. My mom restricted me to a lot growing up and I've realized it for a long time but only started to except it recently. I really want to try new things but how much can I do without her getting mad at me?

I turned on the shower, hoping in to feel the warm water hitting my skin. I always felt safe in the shower, maybe that's weird but I could silently cry and feel like my pain was being washed away. My mom didn't like seeing me cry it was considered "weak" in her eyes, so I did it when no one else was around, showers were easiest.

After washing up, I sat down in the shower letting the water pour down on me, it was soothing. I fell back into my thoughts.

I envy Floyd, he does things because he wants to, me on the other hand I do things because I was told to and have it drilled into my head to follow rules wether I want to or not.

Is (y/n) right? Does Floyd actually.. like me? He definitely has a funny way of showing it, but it's not like I really know how to show affection that much myself anyway.

I got out, drying myself then getting dressed in the clothes (y/n) had picked out for me. They've truly helped me I should show them my thanks somehow.

An

Oh no... Riddle... he's broken. Not sorry.
Anyway, I feel as though Riddle after his outburst is realizing how he was wronged and he's trying to heal. I mean you don't always realize something is wrong till shown otherwise. :)

-Max who's now feeling sad wanting to cry themselves in the shower....

...my poor baby Riddle!!! Sob sob.. (T ^ T)