The Mafia's Nurse

Even you?

Ace

Laughter bellows out from the room and reaches all the way down the hall to me. I grind my molars at the sound. A pit begins to form in my stomach.

She was soft with them. Soft like how she is with me. Like how she asked me to go home. Like how she asked about Scar. The soft side that I should stay far from cause it does something to me. It makes me think of my brief moment in the afterlife. Makes me remember my own Angel.

It's her gentle side that I thought she wouldn't show to anyone here. But she was soft with them.

This jealousy is not foreign but its object of attention is not mine to be jealous of. I should not care that her gentle smile was given to them. What does it matter that he knows her tender touch? It's stupid. Ridiculous.

"Ace? You there?"

His voice is the dark reminder that I try to ignore. It is every brotherly advice I didn't take. His voice makes me feel years younger and older all at once.

"Yeah Boss, I'm here." I lean myself against the wall and ready for the talk.

He takes an inhale, "And Vinnie?"

The laughter sounds again, "He's good."

"Good?" The doubt he has pisses me off.

I pride myself on being a level-headed man. With the exception of a few childish moments brought out by imbeciles, or more accurately Frankie & James.

But anger has always been a companion. She has kept me warm on cold nights and taught me to blame before I knew shame. Maybe that's what makes this life easier for men like me. Anger keeps the guilt at bay and reminds you that it's the rest of the world's fault you turned out this way. There is nothing to make me hesitate, there never really was in my life. What started as an easy way to make money quickly became a lifestyle.

Truthfully, people like me made it out okay in this world, only because we have a place to put all that violence and vengeful mind we never quite outgrow as teens. Homeless teens. Teens in the system. Teens who would push for lunch money. Where ever we were if we made it out, there wasn't a bright and shiny office job at the end for us.

So as the comfort of anger returns to me, I am put at ease. This feeling I know. This feeling won't surprise me and better yet, this feeling will keep me on the other side of these doors away from her.

"I picked up a doctor of sorts," I finally speak surprised that he waited for me to talk.

"Nikki?" It's a good guess and he's a smart man, so I have to tread carefully.

"No," I pause, "She offered up someone else in exchange."

Which isn't a total lie.

"Who?" His response is immediate and shows more concern than he meant to.

"A coworker," I say lazily and after only a few seconds he gives a heavy sigh.

"Fuck she's twisted," He mutters.

I almost smile, "That's why you liked her."