The Curse in Her Blood

Chapter 38

Set

I hadn't lied.

I kept telling myself that I hadn't. That Thot was wrong. Never mind that Thot was NEVER wrong, but this time, I knew he was.

Because he couldn't be right.

Him being right would ruin everything, would make my plan unfeasible.

However, since being told that I had lied, I couldn't help but picture the moment. The moment that had changed everything.

The first time she kissed me.

That was where things had changed, I was just determined to ignore it.

Problem was, as much as I wanted to ignore what was happening with me, I couldn't ignore her. She wouldn't let me.

She always wanted to talk to me, when she was nervous she wanted my presence to feel more secure and honestly, if I was being truthful with myself, I wanted her around too. It was just easier to tell myself that I was doing it for her benefit.

For two days after the tests I tried to minimize my contact with her, but she wouldn't let me. She would find ways to convince me to stay and I hated the look of disappointment on her face when I found ways to avoid her, so I gave up by the third day.

I think what I liked best about her presence was that if she was with me, my people were more at ease. They felt more comfortable approaching me, they seemed more excited to see me when she was there. Normally I made them nervous, which was fair I guess, but they all liked Robin. They hadn't ever been like this with Astarte.

On the third day I woke up and found her having breakfast by herself. I should have walked away, had been walking away before this, but she had spotted me, had asked me to stay. I tried to give her an excuse, but she had looked so... forlorn that I had just stopped. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't handle her looking at me like that, like I had carved her heart out, so I stayed.

I took the place that had been mine before that third test and she smiled so wide that I couldn't help but smile back.

After that things seemed to fall back into place. She didn't ask me why I was avoiding her, I didn't ask if she had missed me. We had basically just agreed to forget everything and move on... without ever verbally addressing it outside of Robin offering a hand to shake with a single request: "Truce?"

Now we were a week into our new truce and no matter how much I wanted to go back to the way things were with her, I couldn't. With this new found knowledge I was suddenly awkward with her. I had no idea how to act right and that was stupid. If she had noticed she hadn't said anything, but I had noticed that I had become a stumbling buffoon and I HATED it.

"Uh... what are your uh... plans today?" I ask. My eyes stay on my plate, I'm picking at my dates, which has left my fingers sticky. It's a nervous distraction, a habit of mine I hated. Usually my family would make a comment.

Don't play with your food, being the chief one. But Robin never called me out on those things.

Breakfast is both my favourite meal and my least. My favourite because I like the way she looks in the morning, it reminds me of the morning I woke up with her in the bed, her hair a mess, sleep clouding her eyes.

She was always put together at breakfast, hair brushed, Seti Heb on her skin making her shimmer in the morning light. I'd even say she was starting to glow. But she was, no matter how much she slept, always tired, so there was a sleepy softness around her still as she continued to wake up.

But because I seemed to find her extra lovely, and the memories of her in my bed would always come rushing back, I was twice as awkward around her. Hence why it was also my least favourite.