Salvation

Chapter 24. How I realised (New)

Chapter Twenty-Four: How I realised

Newly added 2022

I push open the front door, the breeze rustling the handful of resumes in my hand. The house is quiet; the smashed wine glass from last night has been cleaned up. I put my bag beside the stairs and my keys on the table while kicking off my heels.

"David?" I call, walking up the stairs.

As I walk closer to the bedroom, the sound of talking is muffled by the door — I stop outside to listen. The door is open just enough for me to hear.

"I'll meet you tonight, Stephanie. Grace is too busy trying and failing to find a job; she won't notice."

The sickness waves over me, my stomach burning with the betrayal. I had forgiven him for so much because he made the step of deleting her number. Then, a fit of dormant anger awakens in me for the first time in a while, and I push open the door.

"You said that you deleted her number," I say, my voice strained and strangled.

I push the anger down, trying to control myself so that I can think about what my actions will be next.

"You're back?" That is all he says to me, locking his phone and sliding it into his pocket.

"You promised," My voice broke; I sounded like a child. My knees feel weak underneath me, but the swelling rage inside me keeps me standing.

"Don't be ridiculous, Grace."

He pushes past me and out of the bedroom. I stand there frozen for a second, just breathing and looking at the rumpled sheets of our bed.

I turn and quickly chase after him, the fire in my veins burning bright and fueling my need for answers. The tether was snapping, and I could not hold it together anymore. The dream and delusions that I had curated for myself were coming to an end.

"David!"

"Grace, just let it go."

"No, I am not letting it go this time. You do not get out of this with a laughable apology and fake tears,"

David's back stiffens, and he turns so slow that fear bubbles in my throat.

"You little shit. I have given everything to you." He rages. "I have done everything you have asked of me. I stopped drinking for a while and deleted her number, but then you left me."

I scoff, "But you are supposed to do those things for me. I am your partner David. That isn't a big sacrifice to not fuck other women!'

The strike of the familiar feeling of the back of his hand meets my cheek, splitting my lip. I do not cry or yell out. I simply stare at him, my heart is broken, but I do not feel tremendous sadness, just anger and pity for him.

David pauses and stares through me, nothing. There was nothing there anymore. I am suspended in the air; there is nothing holding me to him anymore. The tether had finally snapped, and I was free-falling.

"I hate you", I say, my voice quiet, and a small laugh of disbelieving relief escapes my lips. The weight of this truth that I have long hidden lifts from my shoulders. I touch my bleeding lips, unable to believe what I had admitted.

The realisation hits me, David was Mr Rochester, but I wasn't Jane Eyre. I was Bertha; he was keeping me locked up and stuck stifled in this relationship. In this house of misery. Rochester's shame that he hides. I look around the house, and suddenly the colour is stripped from the room, the roses are dead, and the house cold. I made my home out of the wrong person. That was my first mistake.