Beneath Shadows and Secrets

♔ 𝔉𝔦𝔳𝔢 ♔

♔ 𝔑𝔦𝔯𝔞 ♔

It has been days, and as each one passes, they are growing more and more tedious.

I have remained in the room I was given when I woke. It is more barren than my last, and not as pretty. Especially not now. The spindles of the headboard and broken, with sharp splinters of wood jutting out every which way, and even the border has cracked in several places. There seems to be no rush to replace it, nor any rush to relocate me.

So, I rotate between the three things I can do. Sit on the bed and try to ignore the irritating, heavy feeling that has founds its place within my stomach. One that is persistent throughout the day and night, that does not once lessen or inflame. It does not ache, or distress me, or cause me pain. It only remains there, pressing its weight against my organs and flesh, reminding me it exists, until it is the only thing I can focus on.

Otherwise, I sit on the chair, and do quite the same. Both of those tasks became mundane so very quickly, and so I took to my third with fondness. Sit on the windowsill, and marvel at what exists beyond these walls. I can forget about the new feeling in my gut for a few minutes when I try to remember what it feels like to have the sun kiss my skin, or the wind tousle my hair. I imagine what the petals of the newly bloomed flowers will feel like against the new tips of my fingers. I wonder of how strong the smell of summer must be out there, when I can already sense it creeping through the open window of my room.

I am allowed out. It is just, at least here, the only two that bother me are Cenred and Sloan. They invite me to eat with them, in their study or bedroom, respectively. I enjoy their company; I enjoy stretching my legs and talking and sometimes even laughing. Yet neither of them have offered to take me out to the Court Grounds, and I am beginning to suspect it is not because they deign not to. It is because they have been told they cannot.

However, Ezekiel, despite the way I feel towards him now, did offer. He was shut down by Zaire, but when have either of us played by his rules? He kept secrets from his Lord for me from some while. He let me shoot an arrow after my first night, he told them nothing of me summoning Hella. He stayed with me during the first night of the Equinox, and let me ride a horse, right out into the woods that surround Abutilon. He was a good friend, even when I was not. He feels guilty enough about the part he played in betraying me, so it seems wise for me to play that to my advantage.

The door to the bedroom opens with ease, and I step out on to the corridor. The air is warm, stagnant, and even the thin knee length dress does not seem like a fitting outfit for the impending summer. It is one of Sloan's again. A square neckline and long sleeves, but soft and flowy, quite the opposite to the form fitting attire she usually wears. The blue fabric is dark, with blossoms of pink scattering the hemline. I have decided it is one of the ghastliest things she owns.

I do not have shoes on. Only socks, which cuff at the ankles and make walking on the tiled floor somewhat more difficult. I would stride, or manage a brisk walk at the very least, but in only the socks, I slide and wobble off balance every corner I take too quick, or on every patch of freshly polished tile I hurry over. Still, I do not let it deter me, and I even take to a slight run when I see Ezekiel walking away from his office, down the corridor away from me.

"Wait!" I call, and he turns. Stunned. He looks as though he almost doesn't believe I am speaking to him.

"Is everything alright?"

"I had hoped you would take me outside today. I think I'd like to get some fresh air." I tell him. He looks pained at the words. I cast a glance to the window, smiling at the strip of trees that have begun to blossom, full and fruitful for summer. "I would go alone, but I anticipate things will be somewhat... different, than the last time I was outside." My smile has dropped by the time I turn to face Ezekiel again.