Beneath Shadows and Secrets

♔ 𝕱𝔦𝔣𝔱𝔶 ♔

Thank you guys for bearing with me. I've had so much on this past week, I've barely had a minute. However, here is todays chapter, and you will have one on Saturday too.
I haven't had the chance to edit this one as I usually would, so do allow for more spelling and grammar errors than usual.
Now please, enjoy!

♔ 𝔑𝔦𝔯𝔞 ♔

The second egg finally hatched. A female, much smaller than her brother, that I named Callisto.

It felt right, to name her after something of the night, when all that I have become is because of them. When the Night Court has sworn to remain at my side, and support me, and fight with me. When they saved me from myself, when I had not realised that I had needed to be saved at all.

Callisto is running circles to my left, snapping at the air as she chases a buzzing insect flapping from flower to flower. Maxas is on my shoulder as he often is, chewing on the ends of my hair. It his is effort to demand my attention, however right now, I am focused on the memorial before me.

It has been a while since I sought comfort and advice in Sloan, and it pains me that while she can hear me, I cannot hear her. Right now, after the past few weeks, I need her more than ever. I need my friend.

"I am not sure what to do anymore," I sigh, bowing my head. "So much has happened, and things are changing. I hungered for revenge; I still do. Yet now, like a fool, I have come to care for others. So much, that I think if it were to risk them, I would stop. Or become worse. I cannot lose anyone else. It would ruin me. If that were to happen, I do not think I could be redeemed.

"I could not stop myself. I tried. I tried to hate them all, but they did the same as you. They worked away at me, and turned me soft to them. You are probably rolling your eyes now; I know you were never too fond of the members of the Night Court. Except, Libitina is not the disgusting Demon you thought she was. She has a fierce heart, and would risk herself over and over to protect those she cares about. She prioritises her friends over herself. In some ways, she is more like you than I think you would wish to accept.

"Tynan is the opposite of his brother, and I hate that they are both so set on their differences, their past disputes, because to be without either of them would be awful. I need Cenred, but I need Tynan too. I need his laughter and gibes; I need his companionship and his support. I need to be the family he has found a reason to live for, because he has already lost so much. I need to find revenge for him too, for his kind. For all of the Kythirans and Balkans that were hacked of their wings, and still live as slaves. He lost his wife and child, and do not think I have not realised that means Cenred lost a sister and niece. I need to avenge the family they lost.

"And Calix. I had not wanted to feel a way about him at all. He is arrogant and impossible at the best of times, but I have seen in him something different. Compassion, and loyalty, and leadership. I have seen the villain everyone speaks of. The male who will bring destruction and suffering with little care. But I have seen the reasons for that too. I know the male that will risk everything to keep what he has built safe, and to better the Realm around him." I draw in a deep breath, one somewhat shaken, and Maxas nuzzles my cheek in support.

"That stupid attraction I had towards him, I acted upon it. It was not supposed to be anything more than a moment, but I still think about it. Think about him. I think it could become more. I would not want to, but I could fall in...

"It is not safe to do that. It changes things. It will become a problem, because how will my feelings influence my actions? We are both bound to enter the Equinox. If he were to fall – I would stand among the rubble of this Realm that same evening. I would kill everyone. I would destroy their homes, and their families, and their lives. This is not safe, for me or others. I swore I would not feel this way again, and with him. You will be berating me in the Demiurge. Except I do not know how to stop myself. I do not know how to not fall in love, and be ready to destroy everything to achieve a victory for the both of us."