❝Ashamed❞ || Gojo x reader

Chapter 24

A/n: I think the image above is perfect for this story ↑↑↑

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It's okay. It's always okay. It does not hurt. At least not as much as before. In fact, it hardly hurts anymore. 

But for some reason, when your cursed energy flow changes, it all turns into pain as well. Pain in the hand. Maybe more like a tingling sensation. Your hand just tingles a little. Perhaps it's just because you slept on your arm tonight, or it's just because your technique is haunting you again, not leaving you alone.

You're really sick of using it. But since you are here in this school, you have to learn to use it even more. Besides, your technique won't leave you anyway. Even if your cursed energy is at the level it should be. There is neither much nor little of it. This is enough for you to use the technique several times.

And you have to be able to use it to survive the next day. 

Looking at your hand you wondered if it all still made sense...

You may not have listened to your loved ones and not come here... You thought being a sorcerer would be something you wanted to do. Saving People... 

However, you have noticed that everyone you know has a reason to be a sorcerer and fight for the people. And you don't have any. If you could, you would be alone and do whatever you want. Do whatever you wanted to do. Everything you wanted to do in your life.

Living with a loved one is included.

It can't be like that. Life's not that good. 

Life is unfair. 

You've been given happiness in school, but why can't anyone make you happy in life? At school, you can meet your teacher, but you can't really love him. It's illegal. Human morality does not accept this. Certainly not the relationship between teacher and student. 
Besides, you can't think about it. You can't, because you don't know who Gojo-sensei thinks you are. 

You can be afraid of him, especially his reaction. But you must not be afraid of him because he is scary. You're just too embarrassed. That's why you run away from him. And that shame just turns into fear...

You don't understand why someone worries about you. They shouldn't. Before they have their business, and so do you. Same with your separate lives. 

Before, you had a choice. Choose senpai or sensei. You could choose which one is better for you to be friends with. You gave up the former when you realized that Toge treats everyone equally. You like him, that's obvious. You are friends from the beginning. 

But on the other side, another person was waiting for you. A group of friends, along with your senpai who you like very much, and you knew there was only one person in front of that. A person who is standing alone. Friends or someone who seemed very close to you. 

And you made your choice about it. 

However, that one close person is more important than many people you don't know so much. So what if close to the white-haired one you feel as if you are separated. More lonely. No friends. You just have to see his face, and then you will notice that you are not alone because he is there. Next to you. You don't want to run away, you don't want to be ashamed. 

You chose a more lonely side. A lonely page with one person.

And by choosing that, you also realized that you fell in love with the teacher...
 
His words yesterday deepened that.

Do you... really look nice in his glasses...?
 
 
 
    

  

 
 
     
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
"Fushiguro?"