MOON • bts

20

I was awakened by my phone buzzing next to me. Not checking the caller ID, I accepted the call.

"Hello?" My voice barely escaped my mouth.

"Noona?" Jungkook sounded croaky. I sat up quickly. 

"Jungkook-ssi? Is everything alright?"

"Yes. It's alright, I was just seeing if you were awake. I was going to go to the dance studio with Tae hyung and Jimin hyung. We were wondering if you wanted to come with us."

No longer half asleep, I could finally feel my head throbbing. "Thank you for the offer, I think I will pass this time, I have a bad headache."

"Ah- feel better Moon-ssi!" Jimin yelled. 

"Okay, Noona, let me know if you need medicine or anything. I'll hang up now." Jungkook replied.

"Thank you." I was happy that they were going out and doing something rather than staying at home all sad.

I threw my phone to the other couch and got up to stretch. I decided to make some soup, hoping that it would help with my headache. 

I chopped the vegetables, and added the stock to the boiling water. I began thinking about the boys who were in the hospital. Deciding that I would make some soup for them and take it to the hospital, I added more proportions. 

After about an hour I was done. I packed some rice, kimchi, soup, and a small candy bar for each. I even packed a box for Namjoon, even though he wasn't even awake. Still, I somehow had some optimism.

I entered the hospital, holding the bag of food securely. "Moon Chaewon." I told the front desk.

She checked me in, and I headed down the familiar hallway. The eerie feeling I always felt at the doctors office or hospitals slowly creeped back into me. My stomach dropped and stayed there. 

I approached the door, softly knocking. "Come in." Hoseok called out. 

I closed the door behind me and placed the food on the table. I bowed. "Hello, How are you guys doing? I hope you have appetite, I made some meals for you all." A small blush crept its way onto my cheeks while I unpacked the boxes.

"Ah- Moon-ssi, you didn't have to do that. The hospital provides food for us." Hoseok reasoned. Before I could even say anything, Jin chimed in. He had recently move into the room with Yoongi and Hoseok, leaving Namjoon in the other room.

"Yah- I'm so glad, this hospital food is terrible." Jin commented. I chuckled lightly, handing each of them their own box. They thanked me, and as if they had not eaten for years, they all dug in. 

I looked to the right, seeing the door that led to Namjoon's room. Yoongi, realizing I must be wondering, began to speak.

"H-He's still not awake." Yoongi looked down. I nodded, but still headed towards the door.

The room was dark. It was gloomy. Eerie. My heart dropped. The leader laid on the bed, just as I had seen him previously. His chest rose and fell slowly. I examined his moon-like face. The scars, to me, barely noticeable. Something in me drew me towards him. I wanted to engulf him, make sure he was alright, be there for him. Yet, I barely knew him? I had only known him for a little while now, but I know I will never forget all those times in the Rkive studio. Where we would laugh. Where we would eat together. Where both of our musical minds somehow worked together so seamlessly. 

I was so worried about Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung, that I more or less neglected my own feelings. I had felt so empty since the accident, as if the little happiness I had was whisked away. And now, looking at Namjoon, I realized why. It finally hit me. 

My emotions overcame me once again, and tears left my eyes. I spent the next hour with Namjoon and my own thoughts. I took out my thought journal. I always have my thought journal with me, because if I didn't throw my thoughts onto paper, I would go crazy. 

I began writing. My head kept comparing the words hope and despair.

Is there any hope in this situation?  Where does hope even come from? How do we feel hope in such a hopeless situation?

I wrote for another thirty minutes. I put my journal away, and checked my phone. I had ten missed calls from Jungkook and Jimin, and a bunch of texts from Taehyung. 

I replied to Taehyung, telling him where I was, and that I would be home to make them dinner in an hour. 

Deciding it was time to leave, I cleaned up the room a bit and closed the shades on the window. Walking closer to Namjoon, I took in his presence once again, and whispered, "We will be alright."

With that, I exited his room, and headed back to the apartments.