Golden Rain [COMPLETE]

°•° 11 °•°

I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to the Christmas party, I texted Sav the next day as Kaybree napped in her apartment and Abigail did the same thing in her crib. As predicted, yesterday had been long. After calming Kaybree enough to make sure she didn't do anything rash, I ran to my apartment to make Abigail a bottle and then came back to change and feed her. I spent the next several hours going back and forth between Kaybree and Abigail, trying to make sure they were both taken care of.

Abigail hadn't been hard since I was finding she was generally easy to keep happy, which I was secretly thankful for. But Kaybree had been a different story. She cried off and on and never really told me what was going on, just kept saying she didn't want to be there. I sat next to her and ran my fingers through her hair until she fell asleep on my shoulder.

Now, all was quiet. But I wasn't sure how long it would last. So that was why I was texting Sav. I couldn't leave with Kaybree in such a fragile state and there was no way that I could take her with me like I had thought briefly of doing before she had had her episode.

My phone chimed and I looked down at the screen. Everything okay?

I sighed. Yeah. But then I realized I was lying. No.

She didn't text back. She FaceTimed.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey," I muttered.

She was quiet for a moment before saying, "Do we need to smash things again?"

I chuckled slightly. "No, I'm fine. Kaybree just... didn't have a good day yesterday."

The small smile that had formed on Sav's face slipped away. She sat calmly, waiting for me to keep talking if I wanted to. I found I did.

"I just knew it was going to happen yet I still got my hopes up. For some reason I still hoped that maybe things were finally starting to go back to normal. That maybe Abigail would change things for her. In a way, they have but... I'm not sure if it's in a good way..."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I don't know." I paused, trying to figure out how to explain it. "It's almost like there's two parts of her that are fighting in her mind. One side wants to get better and to figure out how to be a part of Abigail's life. But then the other part is drowning and stuck in the past where she's in a never ending cycle of hopelessness. She wants to get better most of the time. I can tell. But I don't think she knows how."

Sav hummed, processing my words.

"I've tried to show her," I added, my voice quieting. "I've tried so hard. But half the time I don't know which Kaybree I'm talking to: the one who will listen or the one who tunes everything out."

Sav nodded solemnly, listening carefully. She didn't even say a word, but I knew she understood. It made it a little easier.

Eventually, she spoke up. "Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it heals most of them. I know that's hard to hear right now, when everything is so up and down, but it's true. And the fact that you're sticking with her is definitely helping, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. She trusts you with everything. And that trust has got to amount to something."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

She cracked a smile. "Of course I'm right."

I rolled my eyes. "Not the time." But it still was nice to smile a little. It relieved some of the stress pricking my skin.

"Sorry I can't go, though. I was looking forward to it."

She shrugged. "It's no big deal. I get that some things are more important than hot chocolate and sugar cookies and candy canes and warm pumpkin bread and-"