Firefight outside the Blue Base.
Church: Okay, Tucker, I need you to get up there, help Caboose shore up the defense, establish a suppressing fire, and hold that position until further notice.
Tucker: I didn't even know what half of that meant.
Church: Just go over to Caboose's rock, and fire your gun a bunch.
"Couldn't we just say that instead of all that fancy military lingo? Would make my life so much easier." South grumbled.
"No." Was the only answer Carolina offered.
Tucker: That rock? Yeah, I don't think so.
Church: We do not have time to discuss this.
Tucker: Sure, no time for you to discuss it. You get to hang out here with Nancy No-Bullets shootin' the breeze. Meanwhile, I'm out there, running around, eating a machine gun sandwich.
Church: Tucker, we're gonna give you covering fire.
Tucker: Covering fire? Unless that means you're gonna build a huge, bullet-proof wall between me and them, I think you need to come up with a new plan. Preferably one that involves me keeping the same quantity of blood that I have right now.
Church: No problem. Oh wait wait, does the blood have to be in your body?
"Unfortunately, according to North," South grumbled, to which North snorted.
Zoom to Grif and Simmons firing their respective machine guns at the Blues.
Grif: Simmmonns... I-I can'tt ffeeel my handdds.
Simmons: Maybe you should lay off the trigger, you dumbass.
Zoom back to Church.
Church: Alright you, Doc, get over there and help Caboose!
DuFresne: My name isn't Doc, it's DuFresne.
Church: Yeah. I can't pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Doc.
DuFresne: I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic.
Tucker: What's the difference?
DuFresne: Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die.
"Note to self; never ask for a medic. Always ask for a doctor." York muttered to himself.
"I'm not picky," Wash said.
"Wash, no-"
Tucker: Mental note: don't ever get shot.
Church: It's settled then. Your name is now Doc.
DuFresne: Alright, but I don't think it'll stick.
Background goes grayscale and DuFresne slides further to the foreground while DOC slides across behind him, with dramatic music playing.
"Oh great, another one." South grouched. Because another sim trooper is exactly what this dumpster fire of a show needed.
"Hey, at least he seems marginally smarter than the others." CT pointed out. If he was a medical personnel, then he had to be smart. Right?
"Please don't tell me you're going to start sticking up for them." South groaned.
CT rolled her eyes. "I'm not defending them, I'm trying to not let your pessimistic attitude drag everyone else down."
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The Freelancers React to red vs blue
FanfictionI literally got bored and kidnapped the Freelancers and made them watch red vs blue. That's all there is to it [Updates Saturday]
