The Freelancers React to red vs blue

The Joy of Toggling

Camera pans down to Doc and Grif talking outside Red Base.

Doc: So he was shot in the head...

Grif: Right.

Doc: ...and you gave him CPR for a bullet wound in the head.

Grif: Exactly.

Doc: Yeah, I think that's a perfectly acceptable treatment.

"No it's not!" Wash screeched. There was no way that mouth-to-mouth would work for a bullet to the head. There's no way.

Do you think if his pitch went high enough that he could bring dogs to us? Like those whistles. Rider mused slyly.

North snorted and York had to muffle his laughter while Wash gapped at Rider.

Grif: That's what I said.

Doc: Oh yeah, people often overlook alternative methods of care. Like that Blue guy that was shot in the foot during the battle? All I did was rub his neck with some aloe vera, he was fine.

"What the actual fuck." Wash gaped.

"Well it's a good thing that I carry aloe vera with me," Florida said cheerfully.

"Oh hell no," Wash said and threw a blanket on top of him.

Grif: Yeah, I don't know about all that. I'm just glad that Sarge is wrong.

Sarge: Grif! Yer supposed to be watching the prisoner, not playing lookie-loo with him all day long!

Grif: Come on Sarge, he doesn't even have a gun.

Simmons: Oh, well you two will be great friends then. He doesn't have a gun, and you didn't bring any ammo!

Grif: Hey thanks, kiss-ass. If I wanna take guarding tips from the guy that lost our last prisoner, I'll be sure to ask you.

Donut: Oh man, that is a burn. Dude, you just got burned. Burned, dude, burned.

Simmons: Oh shut up, your armor's pink.

Doc: Uh, hey, guys? I-I just want everybody to know that Grif and I aren't, uh, technically friends.. uh, we're just talking. That's it. (to Grif) Sorry, man, but it's pretty obvious that you're really unpopular, and if I'm gonna make any progress around here at all I can't really be directly associated with you. I'm sure you understand.

"Damn. Was not expecting that from him." York chuckled.

Grif: ...

Doc: It's only because no one likes you.

"Wow that got worse," Wash commented having taken the blanket off of him and was now shaking his head.

"Mhm." York agreed.

Grif: ...

Doc: Stop staring at me.

Camera zooms through the gulch, revealing Sheila still in the middle of it, then ends on

Church and Tucker behind Blue Base.

Tucker: Hey Church, if your body is the Red Team's old droid, and droids usually fix stuff, can't you just activate your repair sequence and fix Sheila?

Church: Huh... Well, yeah it's worth a shot, I guess. (clears throat) Alright. Stand back. (Tucker takes a step back) Huhrur...! Heeungh...! Hoom...!