Chapter 17: Self-doubt

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Notes: I hadn't planned on divulging some of this information just yet but I have a shitty head space so this is how it worked out. Also, I'm unsure if wa[[p@d has an auto reporting on comments where people curse but if a regular user is doing so please don't. It's rated mature and I curse in my writing. Curse words aren't inherently offensive so if a regular user is reporting those comments please stop. 

🔺🔺🔺TRIGGER WARNINGS🔺🔺🔺Blood, Gore, Graphic depictions of violence, and severe mental strain and self-doubt, along with mild self-harm

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Rengoku held you there for a moment more before slowly pulling his arms away and taking a step back. "Thank you for agreeing to the date (Y/n)." His smile was soft and filled with warmth. "You don't have to thank me like I'm doing you a favor. I actually want to go on a date with you." You chided in good nature.

His smile never left; he only brought his hand up to gently cup your face. A blush raced over your cheeks. You were unsure what Rengoku planned on doing but knew that you trusted him.

Just as he imperceptibly began to lean down, a flicker of light caught your eye. "Fuck!" You rushed out, jerking away from Rengoku. "I'm sorry I've got to go," you spewed. You stood on your tiptoes, kissing his cheek, and running off.

Rengoku stood there, surprised, and crushed at your sudden exit. He was reevaluating all of the things he had said and done throughout the night when he realized it. The night. He looked up and saw the sun begin to peak over the horizon.

He felt foolish for not taking the time into consideration. You were probably berating yourself, which he was also in the midst of doing. How could he have let the time get away from him? He knew that when the sun rose your time would come to an end, but it's different when it actually happens.

He forgot that there was no way for the two of you to be together in a normal setting. He couldn't always have you. You were restricted to the night, to only seeing each other at night or in the deepest of shade. He couldn't be with you at all times. The sun, which brought the people around him so much joy, would kill you.

The one thing that brought those around him real peace would be the cause of your death. What would his father think? His father would kill you if you ever met. Shinjiro didn't even know about Nezuko, much less you, a would-be high-ranking demon.

What had Rengoku inadvertently gotten himself into? How had he gained romantic feelings for a demon? You were so human; he'd almost forgotten that you were meant to eat humans. But you hadn't been attracted to Sanemi's blood, just as Nezuko hadn't.

But how was he supposed to hope and trust that? Nezuko was, somehow, something different. Ubuyashiki had sanctioned Nezuko's life, however, you were something completely different as no one knew you before you were a demon. You were hundreds of years old, plenty of time to learn how to perfectly manipulate someone. You were completely sentient, Nezuko couldn't speak, yet you could. Which meant you could have been able to manipulate him. He sat down, knowing that his legs couldn't handle the torrent of conflicting emotions going through him. "Why do I feel like this?" He garbled, holding his face in his hands.

But why would you have manipulated him? You saved his life; it would have been easy to let him die. That would have made your life as a demon easier had he died on that train. But you saved him, so it wouldn't make sense for you to have manipulated him in such a way. Not that he knew how exactly you might have manipulated him.

You offered for him to meet your children, you offered for his brother to meet your children. From what he understood you were fiercely protective of them, so to have offered something so socially intimate... It wouldn't make sense for you to have underlying motives that could cause them harm. You seemed to care about every child, so to put his brother in danger wouldn't make any sense either.

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