Deliverance | Draco Malfoy

Five

tw: This chapter contains mentions of abuse. Read with caution.

Blaise saved the days of my Christmas holiday by allowing me to stay at his home for the remainder of it since Graham tried sending me to my father's for weeks of torment just for shits and giggles. This now stood as our new record. I hadn't seen or heard from him in over a week. Almost more than that.  No letters or owls, no searching for me, and no begging for my forgiveness as usual. It was surprisingly peaceful, and I enjoyed getting a break from emptying my entire being into pleasing someone every day.

Blaise spared me the conversations I knew he wanted to have deep down. Talking about the abuse he recently discovered wouldn't make it feel any better than simply avoiding it would. So that's what we did. We pretended it never happened at all.

There was something else to it, too, and it wasn't just because he didn't want to express his curiosity on the situation. Blaise was much softer than the others. He didn't like the idea of anyone hurting me, so I think his brain helped him cope with the thought by assuring him that it wasn't that bad. That I hadn't been suffering in silence all this time. He also didn't like confrontation, and he would be the last one to bring it to Graham's attention.

"I think he's going to be really mad at me when we go back tomorrow." I whispered to Blaise in the warmth of his bed. He was half out of it and in a state of exhaustion as my mind was wide awake and trailed through all the reasons I should hate myself.

I'm useless, worthless, and don't actually matter to a single person out there. The relationship I have with Blaise feels like it's out of pity. I am the worst thing to ever happen to my father because he couldn't have such luck to have a boy carrying on a legacy his ancestors had built, and I reminded him far too much of my mother. My boyfriend loved me until he didn't... and the longer I'm with him, the more he loathes me for all the things I do wrong.

Even with my arms and neck appearing as clean canvases from Malfoy's one act of decency, bruises and scars still covered the rest of me. Too many marks that had washed away my innocence because I didn't belong to myself. I was always property of someone else, and I think I hated that more than I hated the constant reminders of how weak and fragile I really am.

The lifestyles of The Sacred Twenty-Eight is really superior, huh?

"I don't doubt it." Blaise mumbled into my hair. His arms tightened around my torso and tried to hug me closely. "Why have you never said anything about him hurting you? I knew he said some horrible things, but I had never even thought of him... touching you. I ignore the rumors because I thought we told each other eveyrthing." It had taken him almost 10 whole days of sharing each other's company before he opened the can of worms. Dread and annoyance filled me all at once, and I wanted to do anything in my power to avoid answering.

"He's never hurt me on purpose. He loves me and I love him. It was just a misunderstanding." I said. The sad part was even though I knew it was wrong, majority of my brain was convinced that this was true. This was the reality of our situation, and I must have done something for karma to think this should be my punishment. 

For all of these wicked things to be my punishment.

"When Malfoy pointed out that bruise on the roof-"

"He didn't do that." My voice was believable from how strongly it came out. "He's an asshole sometimes, but he doesn't hurt me." I repeated. The more I said it, the more realistic it felt.

He doesn't mean it.

It was all an accident.

I deserve my punishments.