Deliverance | Draco Malfoy

Twelve

tw: This chapter contains scenes of abuse, as well as suicidal thoughts or actions. Read with caution.

"Why can't I know about the things you had to do?" I asked again. "Was it dangerous? Did any of it hurt? Were you scared?" Graham let a laugh that carried a twinge of annoyance leave his lips as he dug through his dresser for a pair of clean boxers. I sat on his bed with nothing but the sheets covering me and a frown lingering on my face.

"I'm not supposed to tell you anything, Ray." He warned me again as he came over and sat on the bed. "If you want in on top-secret information so badly, then roll up your sleeve one day and join." He said the words so casually like it were actually an option for me. Not right now, at least.

I shook my head quickly and the fear in my eyes grew as I tugged the blanket over me tighter like it would protect me from his words. His face shifted for a moment and he cleared his throat. For some reason, I had a feeling that was not the way I should have reacted.

"What was that look for?" He shook his head. My eyes softened and I leaned towards him.

"I just don't want to join. It scares me." I said softly. His face contorted with that sentence, too.

"So, I scare you now because I joined?" His voice grew bitter.

"No!" I corrected him quickly.

"Are you not on our side then? Do you think we're the bad guys?" He pointed towards himself with a scowl. "You know what happens to blood traitors— your mother found that out the hard way." His inked skin mocked me as he leaned back on his hand against the bed top.

"No, you aren't the bad guy. I never thought that, Graham." I shook my head again and bit my upper lip. I have always been too blind to think that. Too manipulated.

"Then what part of it scares you?" He asked coldly. I slowly moved towards him, slipping into his lap and keeping the top sheet around me tightly to stay covered in the cold bedroom.

"Just the... killing and stuff. A lot of things scare me... you know that." My voice dropped to a whisper as he moved his arm under my bent knees and across the center of my back to hold me. "It's just..." Don't cry, Rain. Please, don't cry.

"Killing comes with the job. It's always been that way." He hugged me against his chest. "That's all that scares you? Having to kill someone?" He knitted his brows and searched my eyes. I kept my lip between my teeth and bit down with another nod. His hand came up to my bedhead and pushed my dark hair away from my face. "The first time it's strange, but after that it gets easier." He said coolly. I felt my heart freeze in my chest and all of my muscles lock against him.

Graham was known for how heartless he was. That was one of the reasons the Dark Lord had looked forward to him joining his forces for so many years. It shouldn't have shocked me that he was so willingly to rip that away from someone. Rip their life away. Rip them away from everyone around them. But still, the thought rang in my chest and everything around me stopped.

"You-" My words were caught on my tongue and I looked into his eyes with horror. "You've-"

"Ray, I just came back from a job. Why do you think I looked as bad as I did last night?" He looked at me like I was stupid. For the first time in a long time, I felt stupid. "That kind of Dark Magic doesn't come without a price. It's cold and malicious, and it slowly consumes you." He said with a deep expression on his face. That was a sentence I would remember forever. His chocolate eyes didn't carry a drop of regret, and I felt like time was standing still.

"Baby, don't cry." He wiped his thumb under my eye, and the slight touch jolted my entire body. It wasn't something subtle that he didn't take notice to. "Rain, they deserved it. They were Muggles and Mudbloods." He said with more annoyance to his tone. I cowered down in his arms and felt small compared to him; a feeling I was so used to.