𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝 ➳ 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬

𝟐. 𝐖𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲

"Hey! Stop yelling at me! You have no idea about the amount of threats I get because I'm close to you, Chris! People hate me for it already, imagine them finding out that we're together! We can't do that, we both know it. I already told you about the threats I got, and you told me that we should be careful, so why are you being like this? I thought you'd understand..." I say, quickly wiping away a tear that left my eye. "I did get it, but at this point, I don't anymore. I don't think we should care about what others think, and about the threats, I'm here to protect you, always! I don't see the problem, Am..." he sighs, shaking his head and looking at his feet.

"We can't be in a relationship, so we won't be in a relationship" I exclaim, clearing my throat while I see him filling himself up with anger and sadness again already. "Oh... Oh, for fucks sake, Amelia! We're not friends! I can't see you as a friend! I can't do that!" he shouts, causing me to take a step back. "Then don't. You can't yell at me like this and expect me to just accept that, Chris. You're making this all about you, you're acting like I don't want to be with you. I do, but I can't. We can't, you have to understand that" I say, and yet again, he clenches his jaw. "So that's it, then? You're gonna go and we're never gonna see each other again?" he asks, but I shake my head.

"That's not what I'm saying, all I'm saying is that we can't be in a relationship" I add, wiping away another tear. "Yeah, well, I can't be with you as a friend anymore. Because we're not friends, I'm in love with you and you're in love with me, and the last time I checked, that's not a friendship. I can't pretend to be your friend, with a broken heart and all the love in the world for you" Chris replies with a shivering voice, while tears roll down his cheeks. "I'm sorry..." I whisper, taking a step towards him again and taking his hand. "I'm sorry" I whisper again, resting my forehead against his as we both close our eyes.

"We can do it, Am... We can be together, we can be in a relationship and-" he tries to say again, but I interrupt him by a loud sigh, and let go of him again. "No, Chris" I add, taking a step back now while he lets out an irritated sigh. "Fuck... Come on, Amelia! Don't be like this, please! Please just get your fucking mind made up, please just don't fucking do this! You're being fucking ridiculous! We can be together, Am!" he shouts again, and now, I start crying. "Stop! Stop yelling at me! I have a say in this too, it isn't just about you! I'm here too, this involves me too!" I finally shout in reply, and a few minutes of shouting and crying later, I leave his trailer in tears. I knew this would be a hard day, but I didn't know it would break my heart like this.

"Hey Am, do you wanna- are you okay?" I hear Robert ask, making me turn around to look at him. "I'm fine, I have to go" I quickly reply, and I start running now. I get to my car as fast as I can, drive home, get inside and drop my bag as I start crying, again. "Fuck!" I yell, closing my eyes and running my hands through my hair. Shit, now we really fucked up. I have a bad feeling about this fight, it was kinda huge, and I feel like it's not one of those fights that's just gonna fade away. He doesn't want to be friends, I don't want to be in a relationship. Well, I do, but I can't.

Chris and I are or used to be so incredibly close, we couldn't even do interviews with anyone else but each other if we did them for Marvel. We barely left each other's sides on set, and we did every single interview together whenever we had the chance. Press tours have always been amazing with him, we've had lots of fun and the feeling of him being with me, made my anxiety disappear. That man is my person, in every single way possible. He's my favorite, I was always looking forward to working when he was gonna be there too. Even if we had a long day, I didn't care about the hours, because he was there with me. I can't believe we just threw all of that away.

Suddenly, after taking a shower and laying in bed as I keep crying about this fight we had, I remember that I got asked to do a movie. The movie is called Knives Out, and I got asked for it two weeks ago, even though they're gonna start filming in a month. Chris is in the movie, I haven't told him that I'm in it too so he doesn't know, but I can't do that right now. I grab my phone again, call up the director, tell him that I can't combine it with other projects I have to film at the same time, and thank him for his kind reply. I tell him I think Ana de Armas would be a good replacement for my role as Marta, so I send her a message and she immediately says yes. Thank God. I can't do a movie with Chris now, I'd fuck it up.

I take a deep breath, knowing that there's one person who I can talk to right now. Well, it's actually two, but I'm fighting with one of them so, it comes down to one. That one person, is Ryan. Ryan Gosling, I've worked with him a few times but from the moment we first met, we became friends. Best friends, pretty much. I love Ryan, he's amazing and I'm so proud of him! I grab my phone yet again, call him up asn ask him if I can vent for a bit. He tells me that I always can, so I tell him everything that happened while I cry, and let him comfort me.

-

-

- Time Skip, Seven Months Later -

"No, but... I know that, I do, but like... Do you really think so? I mean, what if I'm 'sick' or something?" I suggest, before stuffing my face with pizza. "Yes, I really think so and no, you can't. It's the world premiere, just ignore the guy and have a good time with the others!" Ryan replies, chuckling a little as he shakes his head. "I really don't wanna go though, it's gonna be so fucking embarrassing" I sigh, looking up at my best friend. "Only for him, he's the one that made all of this happen, you know" he replies, but I shake my head. "No, that's not true, it was us both, equally..." I silently add, making him smile.

"Do you still love him?" he asks, raising his eyebrows like he already knows the answer. "Yeah..." I sigh, hiding my face in my hands. "Hey, that's normal, Am. You can't just stop loving someone when you've loved them for so long, alright? Now, here's what you're gonna do; you're gonna fly to LA, get your hair and make-up done, put on a beautiful dress and walk that carpet and be the hottest person there which is gonna fucking make him regret all of his life choices. Let him see what he let go, Am! He shouldn't have, show him that" Ryan tells, making me laugh.

"Fine" I jokingly sigh, so we laugh again and finish our pizza. "The girls miss you, you know? All of them, Eva too" he suddenly says, giving me a kind smile. Ah, his little girls. Ryan has two daughters, Esmeralda and Amada, with his wife Eva. I love his family, Eva and their girls are such loving people! They live in LA, but Ryan sometimes spends time in New York. Whenever he needs to be here, for work or events or interviews and stuff, he visits me. I love him for it, I got very lucky with him as my best friend.

Tonight, he's staying here, in the guest room. We're both going to Los Angeles tomorrow anyway, so we're taking the flight together. After cleaning up and talking about this for a while longer, we both get to bed and meet each other again int he kitchen for dinner, at 8am. I'm nervous, but I know what I have to do. Ignore Chris, don't look at Chris, don't get close to Chris. I don't want to cry or get angry out there, so that's the best option right now.