TCR Reviews [Closed]

26| Finding Myself

Requester Olivia_Benedetti 

Reviewer OutOfMyImagination 

Hello and thank you for requesting the review. Your application said to read just 1 chapter, but I read 4 since they are short and I wanted to get a bit more on the story before doing the review. If you have any questions comment here or dm me.

Engagement 12 /20

Non-fiction is really not my cup of tea, but it's just a personal preference. I understand break up can be hard and emotional, and writing it down might help to overcome your emotions. But for me personally, the story is not something I would read in my spare time. I understand your feelings, teen break up can be overwhelming and other teens can relate to the story as well, though I am not a teen so my interest was not that huge. 

Concept 8/10

The story is essentially a diary, some people write it and keep it private and others like you like to share it. I never read a diary/non-fiction type of book here on Wattpad so for me it's a new experience.

Cover 9/10

The cover is good, it meets the theme of the story and is attractive enough as well.

The book description 7/10

The book description always should be written in the third person, no matter what POV the story is told, but in this case, it feels very odd. I think as non-fiction it should be in the first person, since it is very personal writing descriptions in the first person would feel much better.

Technicalities 30/50

It's very hard to judge this story on the technicalities since you have a learning disability, I feel the fact that you are trying to write should earn you points. 

I won't dissect the story too much but just point out what are your main issues. Some words should be one but you write it as two words, for example, you write "my self" and it should be "myself". There are some missing punctuation and misspelled words, not capitalizing names, etc. 

For all these issues you should get Grammarly or ProWritingAid, they are browser extensions that check your writing in real-time, and it helps a lot with issues like yours, and there is a free option on both programs, I personally have both, and use them when I need.

As for the story itself, it's hard to judge. It's your feelings so I can't say anything much about it. Seems like your relationship started not as an honest thing since you were pretending to date at first and later started to like each other. I would say your friend is right, he left when he realized things became real, and given that he probably has mental health issues it was too hard for him.

Total 66/100

Overall: I think it's brave of you to share your feeling and thoughts out there in the world. I don't know if you changed people's names, but my advice would be to change them, while you choosing to share your name and story other people might not want to be exposed that way, so unless you have permission from them its better to change the names and note that in your book. There are personal messages of people who didn't choose to put everything online. I hope writing this story will help you sort out your feelings. Good luck!