7. Months Later

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I did end up getting the food I was promised, I ate an either box of Mac n cheese. I ended up getting yelled at again by ghost but I made another box for them to share for themselves.

But now we were back at base. Everything was sorted out. I did missions and training. Everything was fine. I was told family would be allowed to visit in about a month. I didn't like the sound of that, I snuck a bit in my chair. The last time someone from my ex-family visited me, was my mother... I didn't even say a word to her. But that was when I first joined.. she didn't visit again after that. But I still got anxiety when the topic of visits were brought up. I looked around the room small smiles on people's faces. I just played along, didn't want them knowing I had anxiety about this. The panic was in my brain but I didn't let it show. I went to the kitchen and ate a pice of bread. It was just a slice nothing on it. I sighed to myself, I was trying to calm down. It wasn't really working. I mumbled in Norwegian to myself.

I ended up spacing out the ringing field my ears. I didn't notice it happened. I was oblivious to the world around me. My mind going back to old memories of childhood I wished to forget. My breathing was uneven. The funny thing is when these types of things happen my site and hearing would basically stop, but my sense to touch would heighten along with my taste, it was odd I know. When I get like this, my body would stop moving, and it would be a pain sometimes. But it rarely happens on missions. I was still spaced out when I felt myself getting shakin, my flight or flight kicked in, and I pinned whoever was shaking me to the counter by the caller. My vision had come back and the ringing slowly stopped. I didn't realize it at the time but I was hyperventilating. I looked to see who had grabbed me. It was price, he looked concerned. I quickly let him go, apologized and walked out of the room. My head was spinning with thoughts. I ended up in my room inside my bathroom with the door locked. My knees were to my chest and my arms hugged them. I was trying to control myself along with everything else.

Was I going to get kicked off the team for this..? I didn't have a knife in my hand, that's probably a good thing. Who knows what might have happened if I did. There was a knock on my bedroom door. I didn't respond. I turned the bathroom light off incase they walked in, they wouldn't think I was in the bathroom unless they tried to walk in. There was more knocking. The the door opened. There was footsteps walking around the room, I think they were looking for me. Then they stopped at the bathroom door. Right in front of it. Then there was a knock. Panic set in even more then what it was.

"Kid I just want to talk." I shook my head that's what they all say, I'm gonna get kicked out. I didn't say anything a few silent tears ran down my face. He sat down at the door. He sighed. "..at least turn on the light so your not in the dark." It took me a minute but I turned on the light. I heard a soft thank you from the other side. It was quite for a moment. "Want to tell me what that was about? " I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. My breathing wasn't getting any better. "...i-im s-sorry..." my voice was shakey and more panic set in. "What happened? " he spoke softly, like he was talking to a kid who had just lost it's mother. I shook my head. "... I-i spaced out...a-and you scared me... so I p-protected myself..." my voice cracked threw the silent sobs. "..im s-sorry..." he sighed "open the door" my eyes went big.. "Are you angry at m-me...?" He was quite for a moment "no kid, I'm not mad. Just curious on whats Goin through your head... please open the door." I sat there for a few minutes debating on whether I should open the door or not.

He sighed "I ordered pizza.. and got extra garlic bread for you" I sniffled and spoke softly " y-you did..?" He chuckled "yeah, I did.. but you should come out quickly before I eat them, they look quite tasty..." my eyes went a bit wide, he got me food then he's gonna eat it? Not on my watch. I quickly unlocked the door and open it. Price almost fell over but he caught himself. He chuckled again. "A warning next time you open the door kid." He had a smile on his face..why? Why was he being nice to me? "Here" he handed me a box of garlic bread. I took the box a small tear ran down my face I looked at him and tillted my head. "Why are you being so nice to me?... I don't understand... I hurt you" he shook his head "ya didn't hurt me.. and plus, you weren't fully there. I can't blame you for that.. ghost does it sometimes too, though it's rare when he dose it. It still happens to him... don't tell him I said that." I nodded my head. He got up and put his hand out for me to grab. I did, once he pulled me up. I was quickly put into a bare hug. "Don't worrie I told the guys not to bring it up. It happens to the best of us kid." He let me go. "Now let's go eat that pizza!" He wasn't angry at me, and I didn't get yelled at because I spaced out..I smiled, though it was small. I still smiled. I wiped my face and followed price to the brake room eating my garlic sticks on the way.

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