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Nothing makes a room emptier than wanting someone in it.
For instance, I'm alone in a dark, messy house during a thunderstorm, and even though her presence alarms me, I want her here.
It's not a relief to know momma won't be home for a while.
Days. Weeks. Months, maybe.
The last time she left, she hadn't come back for 19 days. She didn't tell me where she was going, didn't even leave a note. But this time, she did leave a note.
Restock the alcohol before I come back.
When will you be coming back, momma?
Sometimes, I wonder if she only comes back because she knows she'll be able to drown out her thoughts by getting drunk out of her mind when she's here. Or maybe because I'm her only source of money.
Or...or maybe because I'm her daughter and she loves me, despite the countless times she's told me otherwise.
I would've gone out tonight to buy more alcoholic beverages with the eighty bucks I was given, but then a storm rolled in.
I love storms. They remind me that even Mother Nature has bad days. But, when I'm alone in the dark, it gets a bit frightening.
Glancing around at the unlit---since the power went out---messy house, I decide to clean up in order to distract myself from the disaster outside.
Beer bottles, beer cans, wine glasses, spills, worn clothes, sloppy furniture, dusty shelves, dirty countertops... this should keep me very distracted.
Thunder shakes the house, and I jump into action.
After picking up every item off the floor and setting them on the dining table, I begin to sweep while humming Fool's Gold by One Direction. Frannie, my coworker, was playing it at the diner as we were getting ready to close. Now it's stuck in my head.
You know what else is stuck in my head?
Well, who else?
Levi. I don't even know his last name, but I can't stop smiling at the fact that I have a friend now! He might not want to be my friend, which makes me sad because I've never had a true friend before, but why else would he come to the diner three days in a row? For me, may I add.
Maybe I should say hi to him when he's at work, too—wherever that is.
Wait, I have his number.
Oooo, I could text him!
No, I don't want to bother him. He's probably busy.
I will tonight.
Maybe.
Cleaning went by surprising quick, and I hope momma will love it when she comes home.
The storm still hasn't died down, so I'll go out to buy her drinks tomorrow on my day off. Big D begged me to have one day this week off since I haven't had a break other than weekends in over a month.
