Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up.
How fucking stupid am I? Kissing her was not a mistake, not in the least. What was the mistake, was me telling her that it was. Which it fucking wasn't.
I don't want to hurt her. I know I'm going to hurt her, hence why I should just fucking stay away but I can't. I'm not good for her. But I'll be better for her, I'll try because having her around even if she hates me is better than not ever fucking seeing her again.
I have no doubt that I'll fuck up, but we can fix it, yeah? Together or some shit like that.
I just need to see her again. I need to apologize, fucking beg her to forgive me if that's what it takes. It's been a week, way too fucking long.
I want her lips back on mine.
☆☆☆
"Get your asses out," I grumble at the four guys sitting on my couch. This is what I come back to after filling out a shit ton of paperwork in my office.
River pauses the show they were watching on my TV. Vampire Diaries, are you fucking kidding me?
"You've got the nicest house," he says as if that makes a difference.
"Bossman, we know who your girl is," Fisher turns around to tell me, smiling all happily and teasingly.
Fucking hell.
"She's not my damn girl," I snap. Not until I apologize.
Frannie pops her head up from where she was hidden by the large couch. Of-fucking-course she's here. "I get to see her everyday at work. Jealous?"
"We got to see her too!" Nicolas adds. "We've seen her four days this week, actually. She's a pretty girl, man. I want her."
I glare at him. "You can't fucking have her."
They got to see her and I didn't? What the fuck is that bullshit?
Frannie rolls her eyes. "She's not a bloody toy. She's none of yours." She looks at me. "And last I remember, I'm supposed to kick you in the balls."
"What did you do?" Two of them ask me, cautiously. They know I don't want to fucking talk about it, yet still, they ask.
Maxen, lounging on my couch like he owns it, hums, "He kissed her, then told her it was a mistake."
"Damnnnn," the two say under their breath.
"How the fuck you know that?" I demand.
Maxen jerks his head to Nicolas.
Nicolas jerks his head to Frannie.
"What?" She says innocently. "I was informed by my bestest friend, aka the victim, they asked, and I passed the information on."
She shrugs at me.
"Stay out of my fucking business," I tell them, mainly Frannie. "All of you assholes."
"Athalia's business is my business," Frannie counters.
"Ours too!" The rest of them whine.
Why don't they hang out at their own damn houses? "No, the fuck it's not."
"So," River starts, "are you planning on apologizing?"
"You better," Frannie says sternly.
Nicolas rests his hands flat on the back of the couch, then lays his chin down on them."If you don't, can I have a turn with her?"
Frannie shoots him a look. "For the last fucking time, she's not a toy!"
Nicolas sticks his tongue out at her.
She turns her focus back to me after she's flicked Nicolas in the head. "What're you thinking of saying?"
I don't want to talk about this, especially not with these pain in the ass's. It's late, I just sent in fucking piles of paperwork that they could've fucking offered to help with, even though I probably would'v told them no.
Thy wait for my answer. Do they really think I want to talk about this shit?
I grew up without a father and without a mother. They weren't here to fucking teach me anything. I was raised in a house that abused women, and abused me when I refused to lay my hands on any of the females.
That house was the first one I shut down the day I was put in the organization.
I don't know how to fucking apologize and to earn Alia's forgiveness.
And I'd rather shoot myself in the damn head than learn a bit from these idiots, but with her, I can't afford to fuck things up.
"Tell me what I need to say."
Frannie opens her mouth to give me a whole ass speech on what I should tell Athalia, but Maxen protests.
"Nah, we ain't gonna help you with this," he says. "This is all on you, bossman."
"Like hell it is." I turn to Frannie to back me up on this.
She looks inclined to agree with Maxen.
"You think I won't fuck this up without a script?" I snap. I know i sound pathetic, but I don't really give a shit.
"Doesn't count unless it comes from your own mouth," Nicolas mumbles.
"Fuck all of you," I grumble, making my way up the stairs and to my room.
I don't need those assholes, I can come up with an apology on my fucking own.
"That's right, bossman, you go to your room to think about what you've done!" Fisher yells up at me.
I give him my favorite finger from the catwalk, slamming the door to my room behind me when I enter.
How fucking hard can an apology be?
After four fucking hours of thinking of what to say, I've got absolutely nowhere.
You know what? Fuck this. I'll say whatever I say whenever I say it however I say it.
Shit.
☆Authors note☆
holyyy shit this chapter is short as hell but it's late, i'm tired, and i needed a filler lol. i don't even want to add the word count.
focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.
