Ah love, my love {Mo Dao Zu Shi}

A lotus in the rain

Jiang Cheng was doing his paperworks as the sect leader, his usual scowl present on his face. His amethyst eyes had an angry hue to them as always and his brows were tightly furrowed.

His hair was tied up into a high bun with a purple headpiece.

Jiang Cheng was almost finished with the paperworks. But then he saw that a case was occurring not only in YunMeng, but also in various other places in the other sects.

The most cases were in the GusuLan sect.

Jiang Cheng's mood instantly became sour when he saw the name of GusuLan. That name itself brought him unpleasant and tragic memories.

Memories of his failure, his anger, his sorrows, his mother leaving them on the boat witb Zidian tied around them, his father patting his head, his sister taking the blow and dying, and most importantly, the reason why all these memories came.

Wei WuXian.

Jiang Cheng had failed him as a brother, as his sect leader.

After the confrontation in the GuanYin temple, his crippling guilt did not become less even after all these months.

In fact they seemed to grow even more.

He had nightmares of his brother giving away his golden core, nightmares of him going ballistic in that horrible night in the Nightless City, nightmares of the time his core got crushed.

And that very man was now married into the GusuLan sect.

Jiang Cheng scowled even more.

But the case in hand spoke of several disappearances of humans. And all of them were usually young. There were no cases of old people disappearing.

There was also another clue.

All of the places where the disappearances were occurring were places where the spiritual energy was plenty, explaining why there are the most cases in GusuLan.

Jiang Cheng decided he will send some of the sect's senior disciples in the places of the disappearances occurring in YunMeng.

For all he knew, it could be something small. Not that much of bother.

But something told him that it was going to be the start of another storm.

Jiang Cheng came out of his office room and started walking towards his bedroom.

At least that was his intention.

But suddenly, as he passed by the calm lakes of Lotus Pier, thousands of laughter flooded in his mind.

Laughter of his own, his brother and his sister.

Jiang Cheng's heart grew heavy all of a sudden. He felt suffocated in his own home.

The core thrumming in his dantian felt constricted. It felt illegal. For Jiang Cheng he always felt he was using borrowed power.

Well he was.

Suddenly he found himself walking towards the ancestral hall. In that very ancestral hall, he had come to know the biggest life changing fact in his life.

He clearly remembered Wen Ning spilling word after word. But those words didn't feel like words.

Those words felt like venomous arrows.

Suddenly he wished Wen Ning never found him after his core was crushed.

He would've died and then everything would've been over.

Maybe everything bad that happened was his fault after all.

If Wei WuXian never gave his core to Jiang Cheng, he could have cultivated the normal way.

He would have reached heights no one else could. Maybe even becoming the sect leader.

'A-Die, you were right to dot on him. He was capable. I am not.'

If he had his core he would have used his many inventions and along with his spiritual powers, take down the Wen Clan along with the help of other clans.

Maybe he would have even learnt how to control resentment with his core intact.

The Dafan Wens would have been safe if he became the sect leader. He would have definitely taken them to the Jiang Sect.

Nightless City would have never happened. Maybe he could have even realised his love for Lan WangJi earlier.

'No he is too dense for that.' Jiang Cheng thought, amused.

Jiang YanLi and Jin ZiXuan would have never died. Jin Ling would not have been an orphan.

Jin ZiXun could not blame Wei WuXian for the hundred holes curse either with his status and skills.

Maybe. Maybe things would have been better, if he died that day.

Jiang Cheng had always thought, no, convinced himself that everything was Wei WuXian's fault. But deep down he knew, his brother was not at fault for anything that happened. He was framed, he was played with, he was toyed with.

Jiang Cheng finally understood what his brother felt when every fault was thrusted on his shoulders.

Because Jiang Cheng now blamed himself for the wrongs that went their way.

For who knows how long he was just standing in the middle of the ancestral hall, deep in thoughts.

Suddenly he saw Jiang YanLi's name tablet.

Something broke inside of him. He knelt before it, crying his eyes out.

'A-Jie, I am sorry. I failed him. I failed our brother. I failed your XianXian. A-Die, A-Niang, I am sorry. I couldn't become the sect leader you wished me to be. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.'

In the dark night, a purple lotus wilted out in the heavy rain falling above his petals, lowing down with the weight of the water.

None bore the witness to it. Except the walls of the hall and the calm waters of the lakes of Lotus Pier.