Every Memory Repeats

Chapter 2

Roman was getting out of the shower when Marlena woke up. Exiting the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He watched her walk to the closet, intent on picking out her clothing for the day. He was tired of her distance. "We can't go on like this forever."

Marlena stopped short, turning to face him, "What do you mean?"

Roman gestured between them with his hand. "This. You've allowed me back into the bedroom, but you're still keep me at a distance!"

She sighed, not ready for the conversation so early in the morning. "You said you would give me time, Roman."

"I have given you time," he said stepping closer to her.

Time? She wanted to laugh. It had barely been three weeks since their return from Mexico. He stepped closer, and she knew he was planning to kiss her. She wasn't sure she was ready for it, but she was also aware that if she kept putting him off, she would never know if she was ready or not. She watched him warily as he reached for her, pulling her mouth to his. Did he think this was passionate? His lips landed on hers, dry and rough, and his tongue tried to shove inside her mouth. Immediately, Marlena was disgusted, pushing at his chest, as he held her face in the grip of his hands. She pushed against him even harder, finally forcing him to stumble back.

Roman was angry. He was more than angry, he was downright furious. "All right! That's it! That's it! I've had enough!" He watched as she wiped her hand over her mouth, and stepped further away from him. Her obvious upset made him even angrier.

"You said, you'd be patient!" Marlena cried softly. What he'd just done to her lacked patience.

"Patient? I have been more than patient, Doc. I have waited seven years! The only thing that kept me going in that jungle was the thought, that maybe you and I might be together again someday! With our kids! In this house!" He stepped closer to her, and she stepped back again. Roman yelled as loudly as he could, "But this? This is worse than anything I experienced in that jail cell! Worse than them making me sit, and watch videotapes of you and John Black! Because now, here I am, this close to you, and I can't even kiss my own wife for crying out loud! Well, that's not right!" He closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, before he continued, pointing his finger at her, "I love you. I want to make love with you, and I refuse to apologize for that!"

"I don't want you to apologize!" Marlena said, with tears in her voice. "I know this has been very hard for you. I know that this is hard for you, but I need time. You said, you would give me that. You said, you would wait."

Roman looked at her, unmoved by her tears, "How long do I have to wait?"

"I don't know!" Marlena shouted, overcome with frustration. He was asking her to understand his point of view, while refusing to give any credence to hers. "I don't—"

"—what? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of hurting him?" Roman sneered.

She looked at Roman for a moment, before she nodded her head. "Yes. I am afraid of hurting him. I was married to him—"

"—you were married to me! You're with me now. I thought your decision was made when we came home from Mexico!"

"It was... it is... but, Roman, I was married to both of you! I loved him. I made love to him. I can't pretend that didn't happen. I can't pretend I didn't have those feelings," she said, wiping at her tears furiously.

Roman watched her, finally acknowledging that this was about more than her hurting John.  "You still have those feelings don't you?"

She couldn't admit it. She couldn't voice out loud what she knew to be true. Not when she and John had gone in separate directions without any real worthwhile discussion. "I don't know... I don't even know how I feel. I don't... I don't know what I'm going to do..."