A Day In September - BTS Zombie au

42: Lost in the Game

(A/N: TW— mentions of rape, nothing detailed.)

Mara woke up to Hoseok being gone. It was time for him to speak to his old camp friends, the ones he'd mentioned to Mara the other day. He carried the weight of his people on his shoulders, the burden of such an important ordeal in which futures were put at stake. It might've been trivial at first, but alliances weren't easy to come across, not when people were so defensive or hard to distinguish from bad or good. It was a collective effort to distill a melting pot of unknown intentions, for the world around them and for the world they created within walls they'd built. They hoped to never collapse, at least not without fighting the good fight.

But what was good? What was evil? Were there saints among the demons? Advocates for complete annihilation or for the reconstruction of a world that would never be the same?

Children died of hunger before and after, women were desecrated and murdered before and after, men died in battle to protect what they loved before and after. Different circumstances brought the same results, and yet people did not learn. How many reiterations of the same story would it take for people to finally understand?

Mara raised from bed with a new prerogative. She was entitled, not to anything she could possess, but rather to her own happiness, regardless of its inconvenience to anyone else. Her future was exclusive to her, and her life belonged to her no matter the input from others who wished to see her six feet under. It's how everyone in Namjoon's camp operated; only with themselves in mind.

Mara didn't recognize herself anymore.

The girl approached Jin like nothing had happened, looking him in the eye with a blankness so profound. Jin faced her with a smile, receiving none back, only a curtly spoken inquiry of the day's tasks. When he muttered them out in confusion she got right to work. The chickens welcomed her with blithe clucks and fluttering wings. The horses greeted her with whines and soft snorts she was fond of. It was still cold and the blankets of snow had returned, covering the ground in pristine white she left a lonely trail in. In the sky, the cerulean expanse was free of clouds. It's was stunning how clear the day was.

Pleasant. It almost made up for the pain and turmoil of betrayal that swirled in a vigorous whirlwind. She watched from within the eye of the hurricane as everything around her fell apart, and she prayed to see it through the storm.

She brought the basket of eggs back inside, bumping into Namjoon again. He greeted her with a nod, standing beside her.

"We're going to start gun training for you, Jin and Yoongi. Be ready in ten," he muttered, brushing passed her and heading upstairs. She set the basket gently on the kitchen counter, surprised at his willingness to give her a gun. She sighed, heading for the door.

"Hey!"

Mara felt her stomach drop at the sound of his voice, her hand wrapping tighter around the doorknob. She slightly turned to acknowledge him, stoic as ever.

"I haven't seen you all morning!" Jungkook whined, "Come help me chop some wood!" He beckoned, a warm smile on his face, one Mara could not see. He stood waiting by the stairs, having been looking for her as he too was busied by chores. She pictured it in her head, afraid to look at him in fear of caving in. She stared at the door for a moment, death grip on the doorknob as she thought of the words spoken harshly the day prior, and the revelation that hurt too much to brush off. She thought of everything she'd done for them, and how she felt for her friends—for Jungkook—and how the thought of putting them in danger for her benefit did not cross her mind even once.

"I'm busy," Mara muttered, heading out without sparing him a single glance and hurrying to the backyard, hoping he wouldn't be stubborn today and make her regret her actions. However, she already felt guilty. She pictured his smile slowly fading, she pictured his sad eyes and hurt expression and immediately felt her heart sting. She stood behind the tree at the farthest back of the yard, hoping to go unseen by the people whose betrayal had hurt the most from.