Painted Lady {h.s}

chinese satellite

{"Took a tour out to see the stars
But they weren't out tonight"}

★HARRY★

May 5th

1997

I will never get used to waking up without the stars above me.

It's a niche and strange thing to miss about something so prominent in my life, but it's just what is. They were comforting in a way. Something that, if I woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream, could calm my nerves. They were something to distract my fast paced mind. You'd think there'd be other things I'm thinking about at nine in the morning, but it's always going to be the stars.

Fifty-two of them.

I stare up at my blank ceiling, picturing the small plastic stars. I haven't been able to sleep much lately. I fall asleep well past midnight and wake up mere hours later. Caroline snores beside me, and I can't remember a time that I didn't wake up to the obnoxious noise.

Ever since her first night here, she hasn't left. I'm not complaining though, I like having her around.

She is a wild dreamer though, constantly coming up with plans and expectations for our future together. She knows exactly which model of house we will live in, how many pets we will have, how many kids we will have and all of their names. It scares me when she talks like that, I've never really been one to enjoy thinking about what the future holds for me.

But I can't blame her for being a dreamer. I, myself, have only survived this long because of my dreams. Dreaming of becoming a world renowned rockstar and traveling the world until I'm put in my grave. That's where we are different. She wants kids young, and to settle down sooner rather than later. With the lifestyle I strive for, it just won't work.

Mr. Chen gave us the date for our performance to introduce us to his label. It's going to be in approximately fifteen days, and I've been in such a slump. I haven't been writing like I used to. I used to literally wake up in the middle of the night, stricken with inspiration and needing to get the words to paper instantly. Now I lay wide awake praying for a single verse.

It's hell, and I don't know what's changed.

We are supposed to be working on a full album right now, and I can barely pump out one song. Luckily we have a couple that are already set and done, but we need about five more until we can call it an album.

Caroline stirs beside me, her arms falling over my bare torso. I jolt a bit in surprise, having been lost in my thoughts. My jump causes her to fully wake up. She groans a bit, stretching out her limbs in all directions. Her large blue eyes stare up at me, slightly squinting out of exhaustion.

"Morning Bubs." She croaks, a smile growing on her lips.

"Morning." I smile back at her, and she lifts onto her arms to plant a soft kiss on my cheek, instantly collapsing back onto my chest.

"You're up early?" She questions.

"Couldn't sleep." I respond dryly, still stuck in my own head.

"Aww poor baby!" She coo's, tightening her arms around my torso.

My stomach involuntarily growls.

"Someone's hungry." She mutters in a baby voice, something that has begun to irk me as of recently.

I lift my body off the bed, taking her with me. "I'm gonna grab something from the kitchen."

"I'll go with you!" She squeals, jumping out of bed and throwing on a pair of my sweatpants.