Painted Lady {h.s}

gives you hell

★CAROLINE ★

May 20th
1997

It's been a rough couple of days.

It's been weird not waking up in the loft anymore, swaddled up in Harry's arms, listening to his quiet breaths and beating heart. My apartment is dark, and quiet. Not filled with life and laughter like the loft. I miss it a lot.

But I dug my own grave, and now I have to lie in it.

It's been a few days since Harry found Robert and I in his bed, a day I'll remember for the rest of my life. The worst day of my existence. I left that night with a glimpse of hope for Harry and I. He told me he just needed time to think about everything, and I can respect that.

But it's been three days, and I've yet to hear from him.

I've been calling out of work every day since then, riddled with so much guilt that it's hard to leave my bed. I lay in my bed all day, staring at my phone waiting for it to ring.

The few times it did ring, I answered after one ring. I would sigh instantly and hang up when it ended up just being solicitors.

I wish I would've apologized more, pouted my lips more and let the tears flow freer. But even then I don't think it would've swayed Harry's thought process.

I fucked up big time.

Robert and I work together, and I was always flirty with him long before Harry came along. The day after Harry called me his girlfriend, I cut all ties with Robert. But then, once I realized that I was never Harry's first priority, I drunkenly called Robert and the rest was history.

I never expected Harry to do a full three-sixty on me and suddenly become a caring and attentive boyfriend, but I was in too deep with Robert at that point.

I never really saw a future with Harry.

I just have a really good imagination and a mouth that decides to never shut up. I didn't want to lose him though, especially after he wrote that song about me. He's going to be something huge and I wanted to be right there with him. As soon as his band started to get traction, I was going to quit my job and never see Robert again. We were going to live a lavish lifestyle together, with big houses and expensive cars, but of course he had to catch me and ruin it all.

I guess now he's free to be with Lorelai, who he's clearly in love with.

I sit on my couch, shoveling spoonfuls of ice cream into my face as I watch yet another shitty rom-com, my fourth one today and it's only four o'clock.

My phone rings on the coffee table and I hesitate to answer, my brain telling me it's just another sales call but my gut telling me otherwise. I watch it buzz on the table, disrupting my movie.

As soon as I reach down to grab it, the ringing stops. I don't even bother checking whatever unknown number was calling, continuing to watch my movie.

My phone buzzes on the table once again, a text.

My heart drops for a second and I quickly grab my phone, flipping open the screen.

Missed Calls: Harry ;)

My heart drops.

1 New Message: Harry ;)

I click on the message instantly, my hand shaking on the small keyboard.

Harry ;)

I miss U

Come 2 the showcase 2nite, U won't regret it.