♡ home alone/ chapter 12. ♡

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I've never invited any boy over but he wasnt just some kind of boy. I wanted to make him mine and keep him forever. In his arms, I felt a sort of comfort I never knew I could experience.

I invited him over to my room because I felt like laying down and we both sat down on my bed. His favourite thing was to lay his head on my thighs or on my chest. Almost like a little kid, I'd see a version of him he wouldn't allow everyone to see and I absolutely loved moments like this when he was just so vulnerable and calm. One of my favourite thing to do was to play with his soft blond hair and watched his eyes getting more and more tender.

"There's no way you never got a boyfriend"

"Why are you saying that?"

"Look at you athena, men would kill for you"

"Let's just say I've never been the easy type"

He kissed me.

"You're my perfect little girl"

"What about you playboy?"

"What about me?"

"Do you have girls in your bed every week to forget about a specific someone?"

"You funny you know that?"

"Facts aren't meant to be funny professor"

He stared at me and smiled for a good 20 seconds before biting my arm

"OUCH! what was that for?"

"Annoying me, I won't participate in that stupid interrogation"

"It's not fair that you know everything about me and I don't"

I know we were joking around but I really meant that part

"There's some things you can't know yet, athena"

"Jesus christ why you gotta act like a fucking fbi agent for God's sake"

"Um... protecting my identity...?"

I rolled my eyes

"Did you ever say something dangerous?"

He giggled "like what?"

"I don't know, like I love you?"

"No princess. Did you?"

"I did love yes but-" his expression changed into this embittered look

"Can I finish my sentence without you giving me death stares...?" He rolled his eyes

"But yeah I'm 17 and I don't know what even is love, I've never really had a good example of love at home either so maybe that explains why I'm very emotionally dependent."

"Athena you know, I'm 27, turning 28 and I don't know what's love either... love is a million things and indeed, it's beautiful but it hurts like a motherfucker when you're too deep in it. Because feeling love makes you feel superior, until you find out you aren't loved back. I never got a good example of love too, all I knew was that love was supposed to be: obsession with undertones of nausea. that shit made me so fucking emotionally unavailable but I'm glad it did"

"Why?"

"Cause when I love someone, you know its special"

His body turned right next to my face as I did the same, we were both facing each other and it somehow felt very intimate and nice. Our nose touched

"I've never felt like this before athena. You make me feel like a kid"

"I feel that too ash, Sometimes I have a hard time trusting you because it feels like talking to a complete stranger."

I saw the sadness in his eyes but I couldn't lie to him about how I felt, atleast I know that I've always been honest to him.

Ash's pov:

Her words strucked me and it hurts like hell, but I couldn't blame her. I just wish she'd understand how hard I was trying.

"I think I love you" I raised my eyebrows as I heard this sentence coming out of her cute little mouth.

"Athena-"

"I don't care if you don't say it back. You said love is a million things. To love and
To be loved is like feeling the sun from both sides, well the way my whole body lits up on fire everytime you look my way, everytime you say my name I feel like I'm burning with passion and I don't think that's just a normal feeling ash. I want to take care of you and make you feel like you're crazy because of how much you'll love me."

This, this is all I ever wanted to hear during my 27 years of existence. She provided me so much comfort. She was my peace, I held her waist and kissed her forhead, after burying my head in her chest like a little kid. She was a soft, sensitive little angel with a heart made of glass.

"I feel the same way but I'm scared athena. I'm scared of trusting someone, scared to love and scared of abandonment."

She caressed my face and gently and said
"Ash what kind of coward am I, to settle for another when my heart belongs to you?"

"Then in that case... I think I-" I exhaled before closing my eyes and whispered

"I love you athena" in her arms, I melted softly

Her little face lit up like a dead star while she traced my jawline as she slept, her nearly fluttering as a small smile graced my lips. I felt as if i could live this moment forever; the moment between her finger brushing my skin and the smile appearing, it was soft, and simple, but it felt like everything at that moment. She felt beautiful, not because she actually was but, even when I was asleep her touch could cause a smile, and that was more than enough for her. That's what I loved about her, I loved everything about her.

"Promise me you'll never leave me"

"There's no way I'll let go of you athena. until my last breathe, I'll fight for us."







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