Ocean of Lies | Five Hargreeves

Already Fail

"Ain't you a li'l young to be drinking?"

I blink at the man with a long scruffy beard. "Aren't you a little old to be buying a vending machine toy?

"Gashapons."

My brows furrow. "What?"

"They're called Gashapons, not vending machine toys," he grumbles.

"Do I look like I care? Look–" I pull out two more twenties. "I'll pay you extra."

The man reaches for it, then hesitates. "Wait, are you a cop?"

I clench my jaw. "No, I just need a drink. I promise."

After a few moments of staring intently at the fistful of money, he obliges. 

Leaning against the brick wall of the convenience store, thoughts of the Handler fill my mind.

Say hello to Mr. D for me.

I bring a shaky hand to my forehead as my eyes brim with tears.

I shouldn't be this tired at my age.

My lips curl in disgust. Why the hell am I crying? That's two times in one mission. My palms press against my eyes. I've never been good at emotional stuff. Except anger. Anger, I'm good at.

A waft of smoke catches my breath and my posture perks up. The overbearing smell of fire fills my nostrils. What is-

"OW!" I yelp.

The man stands in front of me holding a brown paper bag. "Uh, sorry. Did I hit ya with the door?" Holding my nose, I glare at him and rip the bag from his hands. Warm liquid seeps into my mouth and I lick my lips. "Oh my god, you're bleeding!" he stammers. "I didn't mean to– please don't tell the cops!"

"I won't if I never have to see your dumb face again."

He stares at me with his mouth wide open. "W-whats your problem, man?"

Ignoring him, I follow the smoke to its source. Eventually, I reach a familiar building. Dozens of first responders and news anchors block my view of the scene, but I do know one thing for sure– this is Meritech.

I push my way through the crowd of people to reach the edge of the yellow tape. A woman in a brown leather jacket and slicked-back hair walks past me and I grab her shoulder.

"What happened here?"

"Turn on the news, and you'll figure it out," she says.

My lips press into a white slash. "Do you know what caused it?"

"That's undisclosed information right now. Again, turn on the news, and you'll know everything you need to know."

A frustrated groan escapes my lips when she steps away. Five must be ecstatic about this. I smile at the thought.

"Well, the fire inspectors say that the speed of the blaze indicates that an accelerant was used. Oh, and, uh... we... found this."

My attention swerves to a bald man with glasses speaking to that woman. He holds up a rubber animal ear. My eyes widen and I turn away, covering my mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I whisper frantically. Hazel and Cha Cha. It's them. They're here. Did they kill him? Is Five dead? Did I already fail?

This is too much. This is all too much. Screw it. Fuck him. Fuck them. Fuck everyone. If I already lost, what's the point in trying? I rip open the top of the bag and take a swig of the alcohol. My eyes close in relief as the comforting sensation burns down my throat. 

⧖⧖⧖

It's dark.

I stumble down the sidewalk. The buildings are swimming like an ocean. Sometimes I wish I could swim. Well, I can, actually. But swim away. Swim away from everything and everyone. From what happened. From whom I become.

"Yeah," I say.

Five's dead. I take another sip. Don't know where the bag went because it flew away. The wind took it. Very selfish, I think. Five's dead and that's it. Poof! Gone. Bye-bye Five.

Stairs trip me and I fall on my face. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." I wobble up and kick the stairs back. "Your mom's a bitch."

A lady in a black puffer coat stops and stares at me. "Where are your par-"

"Your mom's bitch also a bitch, bitch," I slur.
My feet take me to the front door and I stare up at the sky as I walk. I'm moving the earth. I can't believe my eyes. Manic giggles overtake me at this feeling of control. My feet stop, and so does the earth. My feet go, and so does the earth.

Inside, it smells like old books and it feels like cotton. No-- not feel. It looks. Wait, maybe feel.

"I wish I'm cotton."

"SHHH!" A lady at the front desk shouts.

"Stop shouting," I say. "It's a library for Christ's sake."

My fingers trace the books all the way to the third floor. The Picture of Dorian Gray, Dracula, and Odyssey all sit in my arms as I stagger to a nice spot in between shelves.

I'm reading all of these tonight.

Tell me, O Muse, of the man of many devices, who wandered full many ways after he had sacked the sacred citadel of Troy.   

I rub my eyes.

Tell me, O Muse, of the man of many devices, who wandered full many ways after he had sacked the sacred citadel of Troy.

What.

I reread the first sentence a few more times. Am I the muse? I mean, I guess I'm pretty beautiful.

"Why would time travel be in fiction?" someone mumbles from the shelf behind me.

"Shhh!" I hush.

Suddenly, my head throbs. I look down and find dozens of books surrounding me.

"Oops," the same voice says mockingly.

"Did you just throw books at me through the shelf?!" I instinctively rub the numb pain on my head.

"Shhh!"

"You be quiet! I'm trying to read, and you're talking to yourself and disrupting my peace." Out of nowhere, random hands creep their way around my back and snatch the book from my lap. "DORIAN!" I shriek.

I spin around to face the shelf I was sitting against. It takes a bit for my eyes to adjust to the sudden movement as if my vision is lagging.

I expected the uncourteous person to be on the other side, yet when I peek through, there is nothing. Where did they go?

"Looking for something?" a voice taunts from behind me.

Spinning back around, I prepare to tell the most infuriating person that their mom forgot to use a condom. Because how could–

"FIVE?!"

——
I KNOW I KEEP POSTPONING THR ACTUAL DRINK SCENE WITH HIM BUT GUYS I ALREADY WROTE IT AND IT WAS TOO LONG SO I HAVE TO SOLIT UP THE CHAPTER BUT ISTG I WAS GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET WHEN WRITING IT SO BE PREPARED